Glenn Beck: Man of A Thousand Voices
It's best to watch this clip without any context or introduction. Just click, and press play, and prepare to be entertained. Yes, it's famous stand-up comedian and sit-down demagogue Glenn Beck, of Glenn Beck's Kavalkade of Komedy, Krying, and Kommunism, performing all of his world-famous funny voices. Like a 21st century Jackie Gleason, a generation has grown up on Glenn's beloved characters. And the gang's all here! Annoying wife speaking gibberish, Snagglepuss, Kermit the Economist Frog, Casey Kasem, sarcastic Hippie guy pretending to cure cancer (??), Rush Limbaugh (??), Hans and Franz (??), yodeling Hawaiian superhero, Fish Yoda (a personal favorite of ours), opera singer in old Warner Brothers cartoon, drunk guy in old movie, Gollum, whiny teenager, Scooby Doo, dolphin caught in plastic, and, of course, angry dude shouting about something. Please, enjoy. [Thanks to video intern Krutika Mallikarjuna for putting this together.] MORE >>
Five Reasons Paula Abdul Quit American Idol
While at the LAT, Richard Rushfield became the world's foremost expert on the inner workings of American Idol. He's currently resting up before joining Gawker later this month, but he couldn't resist weighing in on why Paula Abdul quit. Why did Paula do it? After I reported three weeks ago that Idol's "nice judge" Paula Abdul was considering walking away from the television behemouth, her manager's statements were widely considered to be a negotiating ploy. [Ed. note: To totally brag, Richard was the only reporter who actually spoke to Abdul's manager during her contract negotiations.] However, after doing several Abdul contract pieces this year I saw that beneath the bluster, she was in fact, emotionally getting ready to make the change. Why would you walk away from the biggest show in TV history? 1. She wasn't joking about the money. Jaws dropped when I reported a few months back that while mean judge Cowell was making upwards of $40 million, Abdul was making downwards of 2 million. And she had had enough of this. It's been reported since that she asked for $20 million in a new contract and Idol was willing to bump her up into the range of $4 million. From my chats with her and her manager, she was very serious about not coming back unless the increase was something major. 2. She can get more elsewhere. People say, "But Paula is nothing without Idol!" The proper phrasing might be, she would've been nothing without Idol. But now she is an on-screen character of the biggest show in the world and she's a free agent. There are a lot of networks out there (four to be precise) who would try anything — anything — to take even a small bite out of the Idol juggernaut, and they'd be willing to pay a lot more than $4 million to do it. Why not an Idol competitor starring Paula on another net? 3. Living in the Cowell shadow is only fun for so long. And that amount of time is something less than 8 years. Having to make a fraction of his money, have a fraction of the respect and clout he gets around the set and around the world, eventually the "I'm just lucky to be here" feeling wears off. And once it was announced a few week's back that Seacrest's contract too would soar into the stratosphere, all incentive to take table scraps and keep riding in the back seat evaporated. 4. She wants to be her own woman and mogul. Eight years of filling in the assigned ditsy-whipping girl slot on the panel on someone else's show, forget about whether the slot is deserved, can make you start dreaming about what kind of show you would really like to be doing. Believe it or not, Paula brims with ideas for her own shows — witness her cheerleading competition in the last year. And walking away with a bit of Idol luster, my guess is there'll be a lot of people ready to take some meetings. 5. It's not about the money but...the right amount of money could have solved all the above problems. My guess is somehow or other, Idol decided over the last month or so that... MORE >>
Wall Street Wives Keep Trickle-Down Economy Alive
Fuck you, Wall Street. Fuck you for being so rich that you have money to spend. But fuck you more for not spending it, so we don't hate you. Thank you, Wall Street Wives—you're still rich, entitled, free-spending terrors! As much as it pisses everyone off to see rich banker bastards flinging around money so soon after the total economic collapse of the world, which they caused, we need them flinging around that money, so the rest of us can get a piece of it. So to Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein, telling your employees to cool it with the conspicuous consumption, for PR reasons: Fuck you, dude. You're rich, so you will never get the world to like you. The least you can do is stimulate the economy while you're being hated. Rich guys' wives to the rescue! You may have to "lay low" with the big purchases yourself, Lloyd Blankfein, but your wife knows exactly how much you have in the joint checking account, and she can do whatever she wants. In fact, Page Six says the wives of Blankfein and another Goldman guy were spotted at a charity event in The Hamptons, complaining about being forced to wait in line: ""You have lost so much money because of this . . . Why should we be treated like the $650 donors?" Exactly, ladies. The solution is to throw more of your husband's money at the problem. The little people will thank you. It's our very own "stimulus package." [Pic: NYSD] MORE >>
Palin Says Divorce Rumors Are 'Made Up,' Which Could Mean 'True'
Sarah Palin—allegedly accompanied by her family—is in New York meeting with HarperCollins. And she took the opportunity to dispel those internet rumors. According to blogs, Sarah Palin and Todd Palin are getting divorced. But according to Sarah Palin, that is "made up." Whether she means "made up" like reports that the Alaska Independence Party supports secession were "made up" (i.e. "completely true") is unknown. In a brief telephone interview on Tuesday night, Palin quipped that she loves finding out "what's goin' on in my life from the news." "Do you want to talk to Todd?" she teased. "He's sitting right next to me." But he didn't come on the line. Hmm, suspicious! Anyway, the internet odds makers say Sarah and Todd are through. But we won't be convinced until the Enquirer weighs in. In more important breaking news: Sarah Palin ate at Michael's! Gosh, she sure does hate that lying liberal media, doesn't she? Always with the false gossip and internet rumors, also? Always not staying away from her kids? She hates the east coast elite MSM so much she dined at Michael's (the one time we went there we saw Katie Couric!) while in town to talk about her million-dollar book deal. MORE >>
The Tearful Homecoming
Laura Ling and Euna Lee are safely back on American soil in Burbank, California. After the jump, Lee reunites with her daughter, and Ling talks about the emotional end of the Current TV journalists captivity in North Korea. It's a heartening bit of good journalism news. (Photos: AP) MORE >>
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