Project Runway: A Hot Tranny Meth
Project Runway is all about vision and delusion. The vision to make a fabulous frock out of a pile of fabric. The delusion that people will like it. The vision to win. The delusion that it will actually happen. And now we have sixteen more delusional visionaries who think they were picked merely for their talent and now for how much drama they'll bring to television. As has become the custom, the initial challenge on everyone's favorite fashion throwdown was for each designer to show off his or her unique viewpoint. They each had to make a dress that could be worn on the red carpet. This had something to do with a lame tie-in with the Emmys, possibly in the hope that one day this show will stop The Amazing Race's run of tyranny in the competitive reality category and take home a trophy of its own so that Harvey Weinstein can have one more bauble of validation. With 16 contestants, it's hard to get to know each of them intimately (this episode seemed to miss our favorite feature of each episode: the barely-clothed, getting ready in the morning montage), but of course we have our snap judgments. Who we hate: Qrystil: It is pronounced "crystal." We hereby dub her "Spell Check." Why do reality show contestants insist on spelling their names like drag queens? And you better watch out Epperson. Mr. One-Name-Like-Cher is our radar. Louise: She is Kenley part two. So far, she has managed to keep her cat in the bag. And it's a retro bag she bought at Beacon's Closet. We liked her modernist flapper dress and that makes us hate her even more. Nicolas: He says everyone in New York calls him the "feather prince." We live in New York and we do not. We call him a jackass. And if you say that everyone calls you something, they do not, you are trying to make it happen. Your name is Fetch. You will not happen. Anyone Who Says "Old Hollywood Glamor": There are two of you out there. You know who you are. And if OHG were so fucking great, it would still be in fashion. Now we just have some horrible simulacrum Rachael Zoe dictates, and she knows OHG like she knows a sandwich. Stop chasing it and find something of your own. Joan Cusack: The commercials for your Lifetime movie made us cry for you and put Working Girl in our Netflix cue. Who we Love : Irina: We picked her as a finalist before we met her. We would be friends with her in real life and pick on people's outfits in the mall. Malvin: He is full of both vision and delusion, which makes him the perfect Runway contestant. Also, he is going to be a major font of bitchiliciousness for the coming season. Until he get's kicked out. We want him to come in sixth, mostly due to the fact that he stole Sanjaya's hair. Mood L.A.: Though it looks glam on TV, the NY fabric store is hard to find, harder to get to, and about as cramped as the doorway to a house party when all the coke runs out. This place is a giant maze of gauzy fabrics and we want to frolic there naked with Logan. We don't love Logan—but we'd bone... MORE >>
Did the New York Post Reveal Jennifer Aniston's Lady Flower?
We must have looked like idiots this morning on the subway holding page 35 of the NY Post up to our nose. Why the curiosity? Cause it looks like they ran a really big picture of Jennifer Aniston's vag! The picture is of costar (and rumored gentleman caller) Gerard Butler throwing her in the trunk of the car for a scene in their new movie The Bounty. It is not about a serial killer. It is a comedy. What is no laughing matter is, if you look really close, it looks like, well, Jen is smiling at the camera...and her face isn't visible. Like a color commentator for the celebrity set, we have circled and blown up the offending area. While we're no experts in these matters (we were initially distracted from her womanhood by Butler's ass in the bent over position) it looks like we're getting the whole kit and caboodle. This has got to be the first time we've gotten into an actress' personal space getting into a car rather than out of one. Rupert, we thought you were running a family newspaper! Update: Whatever it is in that picture, the New York Post seems to regret running it in its pages. For the web version of the story, they've used a crotch-less shot of Aniston. Because we know you'll want to do your own forensic analysis, here's the actual pic. Click to enlarge; we know you will. Image via Splash. MORE >>
Google Chef in Top Chef Clam Embarrassment
Google must not be big on fresh shellfish in the company cafeteria, judging from executive chief Preeti Mistry's Wednesday performance on Top Chef. The Cordon Bleu graduate figured she'd just shuck the little beasties like oysters. Whoops! The upshot of this unfortunate decision — clams are nothing like oysters — was something of a "500 Server Error" for her reality-show team. They weren't "feeling lucky," if you know what we mean. Mistry, the short-haired, fauxhawked cook in the above video except, is back at Google's "Charlie's Cafe" at the Mountain View headquarters, Peter Kafka reports in All Things D. Reps for Google's catering firm tell Kafka she's "recovering" from the rattling Top Chef taping. But for all its recent cutbacks, including on food, the last thing Google needs is a public rebuke to its much-vaunted culinary excellence. Might we suggest a grudge match involving another tech company, say, Facebook? They've totally got a cafeteria! UPDATE: As NBC Bay Area notes, Mistry's been hamming it up on her Twitter feed. Or "clamming" it up, rather: (Clip via Hulu) MORE >>
The New Yorker Will Be Sold For Scrap Before Anna Wintour Stays in a Cheap Hotel
What, exactly, is McKinsey's strategy for cutting costs at Conde Nast? Having parsed today's worthless anecdotal evidence, we now know: Let Vogue do whatever she likes, and make the poor meek New Yorker staffers suffer to make up for it. The McKinsey consultants are zeroing in on Vogue as one of their early targets for "restructuring" and whatnot. We imagine that means that they went in, ready to do their cost-cutting, and were frozen by fear when they stared into Anna Wintour's black pools of eternity (eyes). Now she is proceeding to spend just as much money as ever—Keith Kelly says her normal European tour of fashion shows is a go. Wintour's European entourage, which is usually about 10 people including her creative director, fashion director, several top stylists, European market editor, beauty editor and Publisher Tom Florio, is estimated to cost the company close to $250,000 in travel expenses. Something's gotta go, to pay for the $30 pommes frites at The Ritz in Pair-ee. That "something" is...whatever they can take away from the New Yorker, which hasn't had a staff member who could kick a McKinsey consultant's ass since AJ Liebling left. David Remnick's magazine has lost its coffee stirrers. Luckily the fundamental scientific principles governing the motion of heated molecules and liquid dynamics tell us that milk will mix itself into coffee without being stirred by an outside force. Well done, McKinsey. [Pic: Getty] MORE >>
Click here to safely unsubscribe now from "Gawker: Top Stories" or change your subscription or subscribe
| Your requested content delivery powered by FeedBlitz, LLC, 9 Thoreau Way, Sudbury, MA 01776, USA. +1.978.776.9498 |
No comments:
Post a Comment