Project Runway: The Belly and the Beasts
Project Runway is about vision and delusion. The vision to make pretty clothes for pregnant ladies. The delusion that they will wear just any old thing. The vision to create clothes out of concepts, the delusion that it will work. And that is what we got last night in an episode that was soaked in more estrogen than a barrage of commercials about tampons, pregnancy tests, and The September Issue. Thanks Lifetime. With a lack of Michael Kors (bronzer accident?) and a female replacement judge and a challenge that focused entirely on the unborn twins bathing in the glory of Rebecca Romijn's amniotic fluid, the boys really stood no chance last night, and many of them managed to fail quite spectacularly. It's not easy to make a cute outfit for a discerning lady who played a tranny on network television, especially if you have a penis. In fact we had all ladies in the top three and three nice (gay) gentlemen on the bottom. Is this how Lifetime works? Are they going to kick queers out of the fashion industry one elliptical-machine tightened ass at a time? After last night, we wouldn't blame them. What We Hate: Mitchell: If this kid spent as much time sewing as he did clowning around the work room, maybe he wouldn't have sent a naked model down the runway last week and made a pair of shorts this week that looked like a fabric sling MacGyver would make out of a used poncho, a pile or rubber bands, and some bacon grease. Mitchell, as every reality show contestant ever will tell you: you are not here to make friends, you are here to win. Start acting like it. Spell Check: That is our affectionate name for Qristyl, who can't go to Mood without having a conniption. Last week she had to open a pair of scissors and cut her own fabric. This week she littered a table with buttons. Deep cleansing breaths, girl, it's only a fabric store. And if you piss off everyone who works there, they are not going to help you find that champagne organza that you need to make your delusional vision come true. Then you're fucked. Hot Tranny Meth's Model Walk: Did you see Johnny (aka Hot Tranny Meth) trying to teach his model how to walk the runway? You are not tall, black, or fierce enough to be Miss J. Stop trying. Your outfit kinda rocked this week though, so we're being kind. Monique Lhuillier: The replacement for Michale Kors was way too nice. That bores us. And Nina, who does not like the competition. What We Love: Louise: For some reason, kooky Kenley Jr. reminds us of folk singer Susanne Vega, and that makes us love her. We take back our hatred from last week. Logan Shirtless: The everyone-getting-ready montage was back last night, and we got a few fleeting seconds of our beloved without his top on. It was as wonderful as walking the red carpet and having everyone scream your name repeatedly while being blinded by flashbulbs. Stella jokes: At one point Ra'Mon made an allusion to last season's punk-rock leatherista Stella Zotis. Genius. However, we're not sure that this... MORE >>
Five Augmented-Reality iPhone Apps We'd Actually Buy
Sometime next month, new iPhone software is supposed to ease the way for "augmented reality" apps, which digitally superimpose data on the world, as seen through the phone's camera. Very cool idea and, so far, very boring execution. Think, people! Let's look at the apps released so far, for other phones as well as under prior versions of the iPhone OS: restaurant reviews, taxi and subway information, ATMs, WiFi and houses for sale. Ugh! Way to take advantage of a brand-new paradigm, programmers. This is like looking at the Web in the mid-90s and deciding its best use was for distributing newspaper articles and selling pet food. We've already though of some vastly superior ideas off the tops of our heads, since that's the sort of thing we do on a Friday in August: ClubLech: Scan the inside of your local hotspot with the iPhone, and find all the singles in the clurrb. This could be done using the iPhone's GPS feature, but better yet, why not use the facial-recognition software as depicted in this iPhone ad parody. NetworkerGoggles: You're at a schmoozefest. Who are the most interesting people in the room? The most indiscreet; the most likely to be drunk; the richest; the ones with the most/least friends in common with you? Ask your iPhone and little business cards start floating over their heads! Death & Taxis: Which cabs should I avoid, based on the opinions of the last few iPhone-savvy fares? And should I let the guy drop me off here, based on who was shot/mugged on this block recently? BladderUp: For when you absolutely must go immediately. If its database doesn't include any nearby retailers with sneak-in-able facilities, it probably can at least direct you to a discreet alley corner. (Any use of this application by cokeheads is as unintended as it is inevitable.) Dirty Little Secrets: There are eventually going to be little individual apps for projecting health code violations, crime incidents, civil lawsuit data, sex offender registries, liens, toxic pollution, BBB complaints and various other negative indicators onto the iPhone's "augmented' view of the world. So why not just create an app that aggregates all this awful stuff right from the get-go? Got any ideas of your own? Post them in the comments. We have a feeling this is going to be the next mini-bubble in tech; might as well get to work inflating it now so the cycle plays out as quickly as possible. MORE >>
Mark Penn and Wall Street Journal Now Equally Pathetic
We were disappointed yesterday when the cowardly Wall Street Journal failed to fire faux-trendspotting flack Mark Penn for using his newspaper column to troll for PR clients. But—hearteningly—both Penn and the paper appear increasingly pathetic! We do feel for the beleaguered actual reporters in the WSJ newsroom, who have to see their own reputations suffer by association while their paper's leadership caves in to a celebrity pseudo-columnist's right to disregard basic conflict-of-interest rules. One Journal employee told us, "While the Mark Penn incident is as egregious as it is embarrassing, at this point, I think most of the newsroom is so emotionally numb that nothing surprises us anymore. Truly." The New York Times coaxed a statement out of Penn last night. It is pathetic: In a statement, Mr. Penn, who declined to be interviewed, said that he had not seen the message until after it was sent, and that "nothing was done nor likely to be done as a result of it." He said that none of the companies mentioned in his column were Burson-Marsteller clients. "I had no business motive in writing it whatsoever," he said. But, he added, "We will continue to distribute the columns to friends and clients alike, and assured The Journal they will not be tied to any specific marketing efforts." More pathetic: the fact that this—which is not only not contrite, but actually dares you to believe that Burson-Marsteller will "continue to distribute" the column to clients and potential clients, but that that will not constitute a "marketing effort"—was enough to convince the standards-setters at the nation's premier business paper to give this man a pass. Not only that, but the WSJ's spokesman still refuses to comment on whether the paper is "comfortable with" Burson's actions. It's also worth noting that while Penn's main excuse to the paper was that he didn't know in advance about this effort to leverage the column into clients, it's ridiculous to spin this into some sort of rookie mistake or uncharacteristic action. The email in question came from Josh Gottheimer, one of Burson's top global executives and head of the firm's Public Affairs practice. That means he's the head political communications guy. He was a speechwriter for President Bill Clinton, and for John Kerry and Wesley Clark's presidential campaigns. He was also the head PR guy for Ford. He knows what the fuck he's doing. Finally, pathetic and amusing: The paper is keeping on Mark Penn, presumably, because they don't think they can afford to lose his unparalleled insight into the latest MICROTRENDS like—in this case—"glamping." Strange. An insider tells us that a WSJ travel reporter pitched a "glamping" story to the paper four years ago. The reporter was told that the story was too old. [Pic: Larry Roibal] MORE >>
Click here to safely unsubscribe now from "Gawker: Top Stories" or change your subscription or subscribe
| Your requested content delivery powered by FeedBlitz, LLC, 9 Thoreau Way, Sudbury, MA 01776, USA. +1.978.776.9498 |
No comments:
Post a Comment