Right-Wing Lady's Erotica Scandal Could Be GOP's Final Nail
Republican South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford become a household name for his affair with an Argentine woman. Then, today, we heard that his Lieutenant Andre Bauer does dudes. Now the GOP may have a new, sexy, erotica-writing star: Kristin Maguire. So, who's Kristin Maguire? She's South Carolina's former Board of Education Chairwoman and a big wig in the state's Republican party. She resigned from the board earlier today to deal with "family matters," a term that's long been a disgraced politico's go-to excuse. It used to work, but now people are hip to it and realize that something scintillating, perhaps even sinister, remains unseen. And, according to the admittedly unbiased FITNews, that's precisely the case with Maguire. They claim that the mother four home-schooled children vacated her seat because of her super-secret hobby: writing erotic fiction. Yes, apparently there are some similarities between Maguire and a virtual alter ego, Bridget Keeney. Like what? Well, like age, number of children and their background in engineering. That's not much to go on, of course, but FIT claims to have seen documents proving Maguire discussed the matter with Sanford ahead of her resignation and that his administration helped her cover her trail. This wouldn't be a bit deal, of course, except for the fact that — surprise! — Maguire was thick as thieves with the "family values" set. She even donated $1,300 to failed presidential candidate and rabid bigot Mike Huckabee last year. Maguire wouldn't talk to the site, but made no effort to deny the claims. Nor did she address allegations that she and Sanford's chief of staff tried, together, like a family, to scrub the skin stories from the Internet. She did, however, tell FIT that she had been to some of the sites where Ms. Keeney's work was archived. Of course, none of this comes as a surprise: it's part and parcel for the Republican party, a clan that once included Larry Craig, Mark Foley and, by way of ideological network, Ted Haggard. The Republicans have an unparalleled ability to bounce back from sex scandals. People forget. We, like, have the collective memory of a gold fish, but we wonder if, should the Maguire story gain traction and end up being absolutely, positively confirmed, the GOP can dust itself off from this sort of story. First and foremost, Maguire's a woman. The most prominent Republican sex scandals involve men, who, we all know, are dogs and are at least forgiven for their sexual appetites, like that prostitute-hiring Senator, David Vitter. As for the gays, like Foley, they're quietly and quickly dropped in the political dust bin, like some long-lost uncle no one can quite remember. But Maguire's femininity, coupled with her post as head of the state's education board, could force the GOP and its followers to confront two things at once: one, women's sexuality, a topic we're sure the right-wing does not want to discuss and, two, children. She long touted teaching abstinence and... MORE >>
Levi Johnston Wrote a Piece For the October Vanity Fair, Everybody
Ugh. What a terrible cover. "JACKIE: HER LONELIEST BATTLE," really? Was she furious that Audrina sided with Heidi? Did Brad stop calling her? Oh, but wait! Levi Johnston wrote a piece for the issue? Double really? Sure. Sure he did. The story is not online, so we don't know how long it is or what form it takes but it does explain why Levi was at Monkey Bar. Because now he's a Vanity Fair contributor! Si will probably lend him money to buy some real estate in Wasilla. MORE >>
The Night Peggy Got Stoned
Last night's episode of Mad Men was like a perfectly-rolled joint: tight, slow burning, and leaving everyone completely satisfied. There wasn't a lack of things harshing our mellow, but here are the five overarching themes of this beautifully constructed hour. All of the story lines were running parallel last night, with the actions (and outfits!) of each set of characters reflecting back on the others. Whether they were at the same party, or getting fucked up in totally different setting, drugs, race, singing, and fabulous accessories were on everyone's minds, and their meanings were reverberating through a retro echo chamber. Let's just hope that "My name is Peggy Olsen and I want to smoke marijuana" isn't the precursor to "My name is Peggy Olson, and I'm a drug addict." Getting Wasted: When Paul and Smitty decide to get stoned for some inspiration for their Bacardi campaign, as usual Peggy was not initially invited. To the protestation of her creepy new secretary, she forces her way into the boys' room to get in on the fun. Isn't that the story of her life? Of course, she gets totally wasted (for a girl who doesn't seem to know how to inhale) and for the first time sees clearly, not only about the ad they're working on, but also about her place in the firm—at least among the women. She gives a rousing speech to creepy secretary about how she is not afraid to be a trailblazer in a man's world, and finally sees that all her old chums in the secretarial pool are just nervous for her. Putting her insecurities about being in charge behind her (for good?), she orders the secretary to fix the Dictaphone and get her a glass of water. Cottonmouth is a bitch. Things don't go as well for former secretary Jane, who had one too many mint juleps at the Kentucky Derby party she hosts with Roger. While under the influence, she has a run-in with Don, grabbing at his belt and asking why he doesn't like her. Roger comes into the scene and is ready for the confrontation with Don that has been brewing all season. Invitations: Everyone was having parties last night. Aside from Roger and Jane's country club shindig, goddess of domesticity Joan opened her home for Rapist Doctor's surgical chums, and Paul and Smitty threw an impromptu party in the Sterling-Cooper office, but all of them had their unwanted guests. When Don finally confronts Roger and tells him that everyone thinks he's sad for marrying his secretary bride, Roger says of his country club, "That's the great thing about coming here. You can be happy, and choose your guests." If only that were true, my man. If anything, Mad Men shows us that the idyllic lifestyle is merely a mirage, and intruders and interlopers lurk behind every highball. It's only those blinded by fantasy and their own ego don't see them. Luckily both Don and Betty had their eyes open while wondering away from the other guests. Even in a controlled environment, their happiness is tested in unexpected ways. Don runs into a well-off... MORE >>
Blanket Baby Daddy Mystery Deepens, Needs To Stop
Once in a great while a mystery will come along and captivate the world. Who shot JFK? Who shot Mr. Burns? And now, who shot it to make Michael Jackson's youngest child, "Blanket?" While the late pop-star's dermatologist allegedly believes he's the father of Paris and Prince Michael, there are still rumors swirling around Blanket. And, of course, those rumors are wild, titillating and just plain wacky. Some believed that restrauteur Al Malnik fathered the long-haired 7-year old, but Malnik denied that claim. Now, in an apparent grab for even more outlandish hearsay, British tabloid The Sun — and others — are citing sources who claim Macaulay Culkin shot his wad for the king of pop. Thankfully, these sources are well aware that the nonsense their spouting sounds like bullshit: So many names have been mentioned as prospective dads, and this is probably the wackiest yet. But Jackson and Culkin were best friends. He was one of the few people Jackson really trusted and Mack never let him down. Really, Jackson idolized him - that's why he asked Mack to donate sperm. Deep down, I think he always wished Mack was his son. Creating Blanket was the next best thing. Actually, the more we think about this, the more it's feasible that Culkin did the deed for his buddy Jackson. As the source said, they were best friends. And what's more best friendly than donating your sperm so that your pal can create the illusion that you're actually his son? Nothing, really. Really, this must stop. Marlon Jackson came out this weekend said perhaps the most sensible thing any of the family has said since Jackson's death: "Those were Michael's kids - regardless of where they came from." Here, here! These kids are going to be messed up. That's a fact. They hardly need the media circling like vultures, questioning from whence they came. But perhaps this is simply a sad example of supply and demand. MORE >>
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