Let's All Learn From ACORN's Whore Video...
The community-oriented group ACORN became quite the political target during last year's election. Because, you know, they're brown and poor and conservatives viewed them as a leftist cog in the system. But could the right be, well, right? If you ask people like Glenn Beck and his friends at Fox News, yes. That's because two Baltimore-based ACORN employees have been sacked after allegedly helping a "pimp" and a "prostitute" realize their tax-evading dreams. Beck and others do not approve, of course, and are using this incident as definitive proof that the group, officially called the "Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now," is populated by a bunch of no-good ragamuffins who want to cheat the government and turn our children into dirty whores. Oh no! Of course, that's only part of the organization's story, for some Floridian ACORN leaders this week turned in eleven — that's a lot! — of their employees for committing voter fraud, an act the organization claims only reinforces its good name. "It shows that we take the integrity of our voter registration work with the utmost seriousness," said ACORN spokesman Brian Kettenring. "We turn in people who try to game the system." Well, that's good. Because people who commit fraud are criminals and deserve their punishment. These two incidents, however, also show how a national organization can be defined by its actions. Many of us may wag a finger at the GOP and call them names after Joe Wilson's outburst, but isn't it also true that Democrats and other "left" leaning groups have acted inappropriately, as those two Baltimore ACORN employees have done? It's obvious Fox and friends have seized on this whore situation to help recoup their efforts in the face of Wilson's national shaming, but let's not blame them, for the entire nation — black, white, Puerto Rican and Asian — are just as guilty. We are all political whores here. Let's just hope we can find the highest bidder. Otherwise we're just cheap. And that would be unacceptable, because we're the greatest fucking nation in the entire universe. We sell ourselves, yes, but only if the price is right. MORE >>
Stalking Anna Wintour: A Fashion's Night Out Scrapbook
Fashion's Night Out, Anna Wintour's faux charity event to make people shop, is well underway. What's Anna up to? We followed her to the Macy's in Queens to find out. Too bad we were the only ones there for her. We took the V (for Vogue) train all the way out to Queen's Center in Rego Park, Queens to find the queen of the fashion world. The Mall itself looks like any other mall in any city in America, and the Macy's is like any other Macy's. When we arrived, it appeared totally empty, a security guard pointed us toward the Fashion's Night Out event, and that's where all the people were clustered. We talked to Keyana, one of the girls who works in the store. She said that on a normal Thursday, the place is packed with shoppers. Tonight, there was no one there but the melee surrounding the upcoming event. So, there are fewer people shopping than usual? "Yeah," Keyana said. Did she know what all this was about? "There are some people coming, but I don't know who." Who do you want to come. "Tommy Hilfiger or Kimora Lee Simmons. I'd want to see them." On the other side of the stage was the line for the fifty people who got tickets to have their Fashion's Night Out T-Shirt signed by Wintour and Michael Kors, who was also in attendance. A group of nice ladies in line said they got there at 4 pm, an hour before the event started, and got tickets no problem. They had come up from south Jersey just for the event. "We wanna see Michael Kors. We're big fans," one said. They each bought a T-shirt, and one woman spent $80, so Anna's scheme is working—a little. Nearby, Rose wasn't lucky enough to get in line. Why was she there. "I love Project Runway. I just want to see Michael Kors," she said. "Some Anna woman is going to be here too, but I don't know who she is. Some magazine woman. I know who Nina Garcia is though." The CEO of Macy's comes out and introduces Kors and Kate Hudson. Wait, no Anna? The pair introduce the cast from Hair who do a few numbers. Then Mayor Bloomberg comes on the stage and introduces Wintour and Diane von Furstenberg. Bloomberg says when Wintour and DVF first pitched him the idea was crazy, but no one says, "No" to these two women. How true. Wintour and Kors come sit at a table and sign autographs for the 50 people in line. Wintour is uncharacteristically all smiles and greats each person very pleasantly. We're just trying to get a good photo. There is a huge rush to get pictures of the two at the table. While standing there a nice older Latina asks me to take a picture with her cell phone. I kindly oblige. I hand her back her phone and she says, "Mayor Bloomberg?" No, he left. "Oh, who is it?" Anna Wintour. "Not Bloomberg?" Sorry. Suddenly a woman starts screaming something about Anna Wintour being the enemy because she wears fur and how Vogue should be ashamed of itself. Security quickly sees her out. We can't see Anna's face at this point, but she appears unfazed. After about 20 minutes it's time for the bob to leave, and we... MORE >>
Inside the Mind of a Fashion Week Model
Trust Fund Boyfriends! Marshmallow Fantasies! Lecherous Photographers! We invade a Ford Models mixer to find out what exactly is bouncing around in those beautiful noggins. Last night Gawker slipped into a private party at Rose Bar to mingle with Ford's most beguiling catwalk creatures. The darkened confines of the Gramercy Park Hotel hotspot, a lounge that is to model-gazing what the Serengeti is to spotting lions, was an obvious choice of venue. We came to this sexy safari equipped with a tape recorder, a camera, and an imperviousness to the embarrassment of asking tall, skinny girls with perfect bone structure silly questions. Because that's what we do. If there is a rising star among the Ford fillies, it just might be Indian supermodel-in-training Lakshmi Menon. Only in the biz for a few years, Lakshmi has already graced the cover of Indian Vogue and Dazed & Confused, and is owning the runway this week at Rosa Cha, Carolina Herrera, Jason Wu...Oh, you want more? Trust us, you'll be seeing her smoky pout all over the place. But despite her surging career, all was not well in Lakshmi-land. "There is stress in being a model," she confided, somewhat darkly."These days models are a little undervalued, unlike in the '90s, when you had Naomi Campbell and Cindy Crawford and Kate Moss. They called the shots. But now its not so much about the models, it's more about the designers and the photographers and the art directors...." OK, that's great and everything, but what we really want to know is, how does a guy get to romance a super-specimen like yourself? Would he need to own a private island or something? A gold-plated Cessna? Or at least a really nice yacht? "He needs to be a good human being," Lakshmi said. "He needs to be loving, caring and above all, he needs to have a good sense of humor. I don't care about money because I'm making my own. To me, being rich is a turn-off." This revelation was like a sucker punch straight to the beanbag. Was it true that some models were actually offended by the existence of incredibly rich dudes? We approached a stunning six-foot brunette to find out. Her name was Nika Lauraitis. She was 19, had bangs that grazed her eyebrows, and recently bagged a Moschino campaign. She was discovered when she was 15 at a Chicago mall. She laughed easily. And she was refreshingly honest when it came to potential boyfriends. "If they tell me they're rich, I'm immediately interested," she said. "I like the trust fund type." Are there any dealbreakers? "Guys who are shorter than me. You've got to be over six feet." So you would never date a dwarf, even if he was your soul mate? "If he was rich!" Had she ever been propositioned by sleazy photographers? "I've had my fair share. There was one guy from a magazine I won't name who came onto me. He was speaking Spanish. I didn't know what he was saying, but I knew it was dirty." So game was Nika, in fact, that Gawker operative Stephen Kosloff suggested she pose for an arty shot while... MORE >>
Collaborationist Cuisine and Cultural Imperialism Doom The Poor
Bonjour, je m'appel Joshua David Stein. Je vais discuter le program Top Chef: Las Vegas qui passe au le network demigay, Bravo hier soir. Merci a Brian de m'avoir remplaçé gentilement le semaine derniere. Like Gen. Douglas MacCarthur, I have returned. Let's chat about last night's episode which, to my mind, may have been the best of the entire season for all trifling human emotions were subjugated for the common good of classical French cuisine. Say what you will about the abuses of the European stage system —amply illustrated by sadistic twat-for-brain Michael Chiarello—it does usefully turn one into a batonnet, Bearnaise, sauce Americaine making machine. There were also flashes of love and, of course, predictable flashes of gummy-mouthed babyboy MIchael Isabella's credit-grabbing grubiness. On the whole, however, the producers restrained themselves from playing up too much the Cane and Abel Voltaggio's rivalry and from overt mind-dick-heart tugging editing. First of all, Daniel Boulud, the chef equivalent of Hilly Kristal and Tom Colicchio, the chef equivalent of Tom Verlaine, ask the assembled chefs to make escargot. Aside from being gross because the snails were alive and look like zombie boogers, it's not really that hard. Snails have been cooked for years in many ways in many countries with little freaking out. But freaking out ensued. SNAILS! WHAT THE FUCK! REALLY? SNAILS! YOU PRICK, YOU CAD. Refreshingly, a subtly eighties Colicchio announced the loser of the quickfire could be eliminated. Gasp. Some weak feminism ensued. But it was welcome news because at this point I'd love to see the dead weight of the cast excised. Au revoir Laurine, Jessie, Ashley, Ron, Isabella, Robin, idiot chefs of the dumb dimension. Kevin won, of course, because he's a very good chef and maybe a pork-based angel. Jessie, untrained pierced lip crier, got sent home because her shit is wack, she had no inspiration (how tired the formulation ____L.T. is!) and isn't formally trained. Mostly someone went home, though, because the Elimination Challenge needed an even number. Ah, the French! Never ones to shy away from cutting an expedient deal! . On to the Elimination challenge wherein contestants were divided, loosely upon their volition but really upon standard French preparations, into six teams of two each with one cheftestant responsible for the protein and the other for the sauce. It was a great challenge because you actually got to learn about French cuisine and there's a verifiable standard to which to hold the efforts so there's none of this New Criticism shit. Also, for those unfamiliar with some of the preparations, the English version of Basics: Foundation in Modern Cooking by Filip Verheyden is a great place to start. The challenge would be judged by a panel of intimidating French people: Joel Robuchon, Hubert Keller, Daniel Boulud, Laurent Tourendel and....Pork-based Angel Kevin who not only won immunity but got to eat at a table with the... MORE >>
Lindsay Lohan's Voicemail Will Make You Want to Cry
It's full of crazy fans, horrible opportunists, and her slimy father, which is a combination of both. Yes, a glimpse into Lindsay's voicemail inbox may just be the Rosetta Stone to decipher why she is such a horrible mess. Last year, Lohan put her personal contact info on her Facebook page, and it circled around the internet for just about anyone to call her. Someone figured out her voicemail password (it wasn't hard, it was 1234) and Animal New York posted a sample of the aural delights found there, and it's not pretty. Sure, there are a few drunk people saying retarded things, but even worse are all the people trying to get something out of her: a party promoter who wants her to host a gig that her girlfriend Samantha Ronson is DJing; a girl who wants to "have coffee" because she's "DJ, like Samantha Ronson" and then leaves her MySpace address; and her father, who just wants a call back. Actually the saddest part is when Michael Lohan says that he went to hang out with Lindsay's siblings, but they didn't want to see him. Instead, he went to 7-11 and bought a copy of Lindsay's CD and is driving around listening to it. He even holds up the phone so we can hear. Yeah, cause that's what is going to make your daughter like you, knowing that you purchased her magnum opus from a roadside convenience store for $7.99? This is the torture that must lead the starlet to her misbehavior. Oh, Lindsay, it is a sad and lonely life you lead, but this is why God invented publicists. They take all the shitty calls you don't want! MORE >>
Why Ellen Was Picked for American Idol
For all the attention Washington's bluster gets, history will see this little health care squabble as a mere sideshow distraction from the news we received yesterday; news that will fundamentally alter the way we pick our next American Idol. In national politics, fundamental procedural changes come but once every hundred years or so — the electoral college will likely outlive us all. Whereas with Idol, those citizens who deeply care about the future of their society, the honest, hard working Americans who stay up late speed dialing votes, who devote their families savings to make signs and printing t-shirts for their favorite contestants — all because they dare to dream of passing on a better world to their children— those people now find their America turned on its head, as they see their judiciary shaken up once again with the news that there will now be four judges on American Idol, and one of them will be a comedian. While it will be for history to decide what the long term effects on our society were, some first thoughts about what this means for the most important show in the history of the world, and why it happened: • Mixing It Up: At the beginning of last season, Fox's Reality Chief Mike Darnell told me that the challenge of the show from here on in would be constantly finding ways to keep it fresh and surprising in its eighth and ninth seasons, at the point where most TV shows are adopting orphans and relocating the series to Miami in desperate attempts to regain some interest. But that is what shows typically do when they are in free fall towards the bottom. Idol, despite being off its heights, still remains the #1 show in television by a mile and in that position, very few shows are willing to take chances with the basic formula. Say what you will about Fox and Idol, they are not afraid to take risks. • Judges Rule: In exile from Idol, former showrunner and So You Thing You Can Dance boss Nigel Lythgoe has been offering the opinion that the judges' soap opera has gotten so carried away it is eclipsing the contestants. Last season, many Idol watchers were dismayed by how much the hi-jinx at the judges table sapped gobs of attention from the performers. And off-stage, every week the headlines were dominated by another judges story. It is Lythgoe's view that the show lives or dies on the strength of its contestants, not by the soap opera on the floor — which with four judges had become a monster. When Paula departed it was the hope of many that this would be used as an opportunity to deflate the panel back to its original size. It was not to be. • Tivo Alert: Last season, the pile-up at the judges table caused the show to run over almost every week. Most egregiously, Adam Lambert's finest performance of the season, Mad World, was not seen by Tivo viewers. Despite howls of complaints it seemed impossible to rein in the judges. The addition of another judge who is already a star, with a very healthy ego of... MORE >>
The Only Qualification for Teen Vogue Interns
Teen Vogue is cannily taking advantage of the widespread yearning to work in fashion by publishing a new "Handbook" which says—we're paraphrasing—"You will fail. Fashion sucks." But the NYT digs up one solitary useful piece of advice. [Teen Vogue editor Amy] Astley recalled a recent job applicant who was clearly unqualified to work at her magazine. "I interviewed someone who hadn't seen 'Twilight,' " she said. "You can't work at Teen Vogue if you haven't seen 'Twilight.'" That cuts it down to 87 million people. Next, those of you not related to Conde Nast executives may also leave. Fashion! MORE >>
Glee: You Put On Quite a Show
Last night we asked Glee to go steady. It said yes, but told us it's not putting out. That's OK because the episode had more great lines than a Fashion Week after party. Oh, and of course, musical numbers! And we weren't the only ones to fall in love. About 7 million people tuned in for the show, which is about on par with Fox's biggest season debut from last season, Fringe, and the first episode of CBS' latest procedural jewel, The Mentalist. Like the mix tapes you made back in high school, it's obvious that the songs in this hour aren't chosen arbitrarily, but are meant to show off the fleshy, angsty heart that lies inside this tortured body. So let's press play and see what our new boyfriend wants to tell us about what's going on inside his soul. It probably has something to do with sex and spilled protein shakes, but we'll love it no matter what. "Le Freak": Sure, there are more freaks at McKinley High School than a serial killer's convention, but we think the song has more to do with the lyric, "Aaaawwww, freak out!" There were plenty of freak outs, including the Glee kids getting nervous about performing in front of the school, Will freaking out that he won't get 12 kids and have enough members to compete in regionals, Rachel freaking out and telling the boys of the chastity club that girls want sex too, the boys freaking out at the news, and Sue Sylvester freaking out that Glee kids used the Cheerios copy machine and about their ribald performance, saying that it was the most offensive thing she'd ever seen, "and that includes an elementary school production of Hair." Already a classic. Our favorite was Emma freaking out when Will puts chalk dust on her nose. Yes, the neatnik has a major jones on for Will. In fact, she loves him so much that she was willing to let him sully her face with chalk dust. The two seconds she spent dirty, you could see her in anguish, both waiting for his kiss and waiting for him to wipe it off. He only did one, and that caused her biggest freak out yet. "Gold Digger": This was blatantly a reference to Will's wife Terri. Too bad she's digging for gold in a barren mine. She wants a new house and a lush life for herself and the family, but is only willing to work 4 shifts a week at Sheets and Things. How long before she ends up playing beard for that pot-selling former music teacher? He seems to be the only one rolling in the dough. Ken is also looking to improve his station by romancing Emma. He's not trying to cash in, but the lonely guy just wants a lady to love him (and not just until the "sex fizzles out"). His heart may be in the right place, but his scheming makes him more like the female in the song than an upstanding man worthy of Emma. A less conspicuous gold differ is Principal Figgins, who gets a glimpse of the talent behind the Glee Club and decides to give them some money for new uniforms. Is this just a sign of romance to come? "Push It": We love sad, misunderstood Rachel, but she is always pushing... MORE >>
'If I Get Any More Solicitations For Charity, I'm Going to Kill Myself.'
Bernie Madoff, who was able to evade the SEC while stealing billions of dollars for decades, did not have a high opinion of the SEC's investigative capabilities. For some reason! A 2005 phone transcript proves: Bernie was a comfortable crook. Madoff was recorded advising a guy from the Fairfield Greenwich Group how to evade the SEC. It's enough to make you think that Madoff had something to hide. "You know, you don't have to be too brilliant with these guys, because you don't have to be," Madoff said, referring to SEC investigators. Because they are none too bright, you see. If the questions got tough, Madoff advised, just start joking around with the SEC guys—hey, whoa, you guys writing a book here or something? Haha. Works every time! At one point, Madoff interrupted the conversation to take another phone call. He returned and said, "I'm sorry. If I get any more solicitations for charity, I'm going to kill myself." At least he's solved that problem now. [Pic: Getty] MORE >>
An Illustrated Guide to Obama's Heckler: Joe Wilson
Chuck Boustany must be pissed! He gave the official GOP rebuttal of Obama's speech, but it's mad heckler, Rep. Joe Wilson, who's getting all the attention. Oh well. Let's learn more about Joe, a histrionic right-winger who loves racists! MORE >>
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