Thanks, But No Thanks: Annie Le's Funeral
Murdered Yale student Annie Le's funeral was today. I wasn't going to write anything about it, because, you know, not a story. Not even a footnote. Apparently, I'm wrong: CNN: Highlights, too? Awesome! CBS, Fox News, the Daily News, the New York Post all ran some variation of the AP report, some of them with their own contributions. The Daily Beast fucking loved this story. They used it to take the opportunity to trot out crime statistics in the form of lists they compiled for the Top 25 Safest and Most Dangerous (!!!) Colleges in America. Did you go to one? Do you want to go to one? So, naturally, this: There's almost an air of disappointment to it, like their news cycle might end? Goddamn. American media loves themselves a good murder. Just look to Rebecca Rosenberg's grisly (and incorrect) detailing of it in the New York Post. And yeah, I know, I know: (1) obviously, (2) first stone, etc, and (3) you're making it worse by writing about it, you self-righteous prick. All of which are true accusations you can aim my way. So, media issues: they're complex. I'm just over this story. And sensationalized murder stories, period. They're just depressing, and they seem outdated, and we only hear about the ones that instill some kind of fear in us. Which is nothing like these two guys getting killed today in Chicago. Or this kid, who was beaten to death. Or these two, killed in the Valley last night. Yes: Le's murder was especially sad because of the proximity to the wedding date. It was shocking because she went to Yale, where America's future rich and successful go. But we're not gonna read about anyone else's funerals. And really: we've come far. There's gotta be something better to make worse than it already is. MORE >>
The Case of NBC's Jane Stone, Conservative Policy Groups, and the "JewBoy" Email
So: Michael Jackson, Lady Gaga, Tucker Carlson. What do the three previous posts have in common? None of 'em are nearly as much fun as watching a conservative policy group play the press cycle over a "Jewboy" "email" from NBC. The story so far: conservative policy group Americans for Limited Government sent out an email blast. NBC and Stone say that Stone wrote the following email back: From: Stone, Jane (NBC Universal) Sent: Thursday, September 24, 2009 1:57 PM To: 'arosenwald@getliberty.org' Subject: Re: ALG Calls on Congress to "Put Up or Shut Up" on Defunding ACORN Take me off this list! ————————————— Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld Right? Who hasn't sent back a pissed off "UNSUBSCRIBE!" to an email chain letter, their mother, or the New York Observer's Very Short List? So Stone doesn't feel like putting up with the shit that comes in her Inbox anymore, and as someone with an email address who works at a news website, I feel her pain: And that's moderate. The shitty releases we get in our respective inboxes can't stop, won't stop. Sometimes, I want to tell the world UNSUBSCRIBE, but I can't, so I usually just delete them. But Stone was fed up with this kind of shit, and fired something off as such. So how does ALG respond? By contacting media outlets and letting them know that Stone wrote them back the following email: Let's get this straight: 1. A conservative policy group got rebuffed by a bigtime news producer at a network which—because it's not Fox News—commonly receives a designation from conservatives as "liberal." 2. Why would Stone—a producer at NBC News—resort to Anti-Semitic slurs? How would she know that its sender were Jewish? His last name is "Rosenwald," but still: persecution complex, much? 3. Americans for Limited Government is a small fish policy group looking to attract attention. 4. Why would NBC be so quick to respond to accusations if they weren't substantiated with bullshit? They have tech guys working around the clock. They could easily reproduce the email from the back-end on a moment's command. Which they did—as evidenced above—and provided to Politico the following statement: Americans for Limited Government has chosen to launch an outrageous, reckless attack and smear campaign against an NBC News employee. Faced with irrefutable evidence that our employee did nothing more than ask to be removed from an email mailing list, the organization has maliciously published a fabricated email. Our employee never sent any such email.. She is completely innocent of the outrageous charges and is being used by an organization to make a self-serving point. This is a shameless, hateful and defaming act which should be roundly denounced. In other words, ALG's completely full of shit, and they did this to get into a news cycle. So who bit? Michael Caldrone played this as a news story and didn't provide... MORE >>
Lady Gaga Is Basically Fame Incarnate: NYU-Era Video Surfaces
Our Lady of the Immaculate Penis, Lady Gaga, was once Stefani Germanotta, an NYU student with dreams: to be the most post-modern pop star ev-ar, or at least, to leave the small-time dreck of NYU piano songstress obscurity. Video surfaces! In a recent profile of Lady Gags, Gawker alum Joshua David Stein pens for Out an awesome description of the Gags as an up-and-coming village artiste: Things weren't going well for young Stefani Germanotta, an 18-year-old from the Upper West Side, at the Bitter End. It was Friday night at the famed Greenwich Village club and the chattering NYU kids in the audience — there because the place didn't card — outnumbered the handful of misfit East Village friends who had come to see her play. "See the lonely girl," she sang in her agile and slightly husky voice, letting her fingers fly up and down the keyboard of the beat-up house piano like the child prodigy she once was, "out on the weekend, trying to make it pay." Set up on the piano's soundboard, Germanotta's own portable disco ball spun tiny shards of light and her laptop spat out beats, but no one was listening. And if a picture's worth a thousand words, video's worth plenty more, and the above would absolutely be the first ones the following one produces. Dug up by Boy Culture (via Popnography), a video of Lady Gaga pre-Gaga. Before the dresses, the hats, the crazytalk, and the penis. Lady Gaga, pre-Lady. Observe: Oh yes. That's definitely The Bitter End, which is still around to this day, which cards kids with a slightly heavier hand these days, but it's nice to know our pop royalty wasn't always, well, yeah: Cute JAP-y girls, you too, can maybe one day have lots of money and your own Dr. Dre-approved headphones with space-ears on them and me talking about your penis nonstop. Dreams! They are real and really happen to real people. MORE >>
Tucker Carlson Compares Kids' Obama Song To Khmer Rouge
Formerly bow-tied assclown and teenage gaybasher Tucker Carlson may have given up his bowties, but he's still dedicated to the art of assclowning. Story: some kids sing song about Obama at school. Sean Hannity rages. And Carlson starts to speak. Watch closely. Any clip with Sean Hannity in it where Hannity isn't the most ridiculous thing in it is, really, pretty great. Here you'll see a video of schoolchildren singing a song about Obama for Black History Month at their school. This isn't Prussian Blue with the Nazi Lullabies, this is about on-par with "50 Nifty United States," or a song about Christopher Columbus, or Thanksgiving (which, let's be honest, omit the fact that most of those states were stolen from someone, that Columbus was a sleazeball, and that the only thing we brought Indians for November were guns, germs, steel, and misery). This is elementary school, and for those who don't remember, singing terribly conceived songs with mediocre lyrics and rhyme schemes that'd make Shel Silverstein cringe is just part of growing up. I'm sure most of you had to go through something as ridiculous as this. Unless you're Tucker Carlson, who would rather see these kids drawn and quartered: Khmer Rouge? For reference, I've put a few pictures below to remind Carlson of what he's talking about. Maybe he forgot, but this is what Cambodia's four years under the Khmer Rouge were like: There's one with a bunch of child soldiers standing over a decapitated head, but I decided to omit it because you've probably just had breakfast, or are about to. If you think you can stomach it, here. Tucker Carlson, that's what the Khmer Rouge was. You're an idiot, and every time you use hyperbole like this, someone should administer a shock to your testicles that'll raise your voice to a pitch only kickdogs can hear. Whenever pundits toss off references events in history that matter regarding one that doesn't, they cheapen it. Tucker, every time you talk, you cheapen the English language, and even, dare I say, punditry. There's a reason you're hated by and have been punked by pretty much everyone. Shut up, go away, fuckoff, and die under a Swiss rock. MORE >>
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