Let's Not Pitch a Fit Over Gaddafi's Trump Tent Erection
So, Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi has come to America to spread his brand of terrifying love. But no one wants to host him. How sad! But, wait, Donald Trump's company has some space and is let him pitch a tent! For those of you keeping track of Gaddafi's expeditions, he originally tried to erect a tent in New Jersey, but those plans were squashed. Then he tried to book a room in a New York City hotel. No madmen allowed, however, so now he's trying to set up camp at a Bedford, New York, estate owned by Donald Trump's company. The town's supreme leaders have halted the tent's construction, but can't suspend the sensational coverage. Of course the cable news networks are all over this scandal and CNN even brought in a man whose brother died in the Pan-Am bombing, a bombing that has been given new life after the recent release of Libyan spy Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed al-Megrahi. Fine, yes, we're all angry. Gaddafi's a lunatic who deserves an international cold shoulder. Yet, here we are, a nation absolutely gripped by his visit. And that's exactly what he wants. This whole thing's really quite the meeting of the media whores. Gaddafi loves attention. In fact, he lives for it, and has been basking in weeks of news coverage about his visit, the first time he's graced our nation with his maniacal presence in four decades. Trump has a preternatural adoration for media sensation and though his company has distanced itself from the happenings — apparently the property's being rented to a Middle Eastern company — this connection no doubt pleases the boss man, whose appetite for headlines knows no bounds. While certainly Gaddafi has had a hand in terrible attacks in the past, he's largely a joke. He tried to take over the African Union and failed. He's unpopular in his country and his once-mighty fist looks more like a limp wrist. The outrage surrounding his visit only bolsters Gaddafi's image as an international man of terror, an image better left to some other visiting dignitaries, like that Iranian guy. What's his name? Eh, no matter — these people are like Freddy Krueger: turn your back on them and they cease to exist. Presto! World peace. MORE >>
Everything Annoying in the Universe in One iPhone App
Dave Eggers, lord of twee literature, has declared he will personally save print media. But not until the author and McSweeney's publisher starts selling this lamentable little iPhone app. What is catastrophic about this app? It is a mere "weekly sampler." It is a "weekly sampler" from "all [annoying] branches of the [Eggers/]McSweeney's family" (emphasis added), including The Believer, McSweeney's Quarterly, and the DVD quarterly Wholphin, plus books by various annointed authors. It is a "weekly sampler" that you pay $6 for. It is a "weekly sampler" that you pay $6 for that nevertheless expires after six months. It is officially called "The Small Chair." Oh, so cute. Typing "Small Chair" into iTunes gets you nothing, because this app is actually just called "Mc Sweeney's." The app bills itself as "a half-year of surprises, delivered straight to your pocket." From the FAQ: "Q. Why do I swipe right-to-left to turn the page, but then the page flips upwards? A. Yeah, that's kind of weird." Ibid.: "Q: Why do some pages scroll and other pages flip? A. We're trying to echo the original format of the content, with a balance between convenience and design. Text from the Internet Tendency (and other informational bits) scroll; books and stories flip." How much do we have to pay to make sure no McSweeney's ever gets on our iPhone? Is There An App For That? MORE >>
Gossip Girl: Sparks Will Fly
Those sparks are courtesy of Georgina Sparks, who made her triumphant return last night to lay low the once mighty Blair Waldorf. As all the kids start at college, the power is all out of whack, with some unlikely victors. Who ever thought that Queen Bee Blair wouldn't be able to get the Kansas transplants and NYU freshmen under her spell in no time flat? And who thought that Dan Humphrey would become the big man on campus? And who thought that Serena would drop out of school before she even went to the first day of classes? Knowing how stupid Serena is, you could actually see that one coming, but the rest of the action was a shock, including the return of the most powerful woman on the UES. No, not Georgina—Dorota! 1. Georgina: Personality Flaw: Lost Jesus: +3 Social Schemes: Her plan to destroy Blair by being her roommate is working: +4, Ruins Blair's sushi party: +4, Shakes Blair's confidence by calling her a "loser who won't fit in": +2, Fashion Points: Wants to hang up a tacky dorm room tapestry: -4, Is doing it ironically to annoy the hell out of Blair: +8, For some reason is dressing like her parents lowered the limit on her credit card and she can only afford Forever 21 and sale items at Anthropologie: -5, Is buying The Prince in the bookstore: +1 Power Play: Tells Dan he's being used by Blair: +1 Sexual Intrigue: Has her claws into BMOC Dan's massive manarms: +6 Total: 20 Season to Date: 20 Power Position: Up 2. Dan: Power Play: Disses Georgina in the bookstore: +2, Is the hit of the NYU literary crowd: +3 Personality Flaw: Apologizes to Vanessa, even though she was a total bitch to him: -1, Apologizes so Georgina for dissing her in the bookstore even though the last time they met she lied to him to get back at Serena: -2 Fashion Points: Still eats Eggos: -1, Serves Serena Eggos: -2, Covers up his glorious new man arms all episode: -1, Takes Blair's headband: +3 Social Schemes: Has Blair's social fate in his hands: +2, Ruins Blair's plan to ruin Georgina's party: +10, Does so in the spirit of social equality: -1, Makes a conscious effort to be on top of the social heap: +6 Sexual Intrigue: Falls into Georgina's honey trap: -5 Total: 13 Season to Date: 14 Power Position: Up 3. Dorota: Power Play: Wasn't fired now that Blair's in college: +4, Knows how to put a restraining order on someone: +6, Blair's station has fallen: -3 Fashion Points: Uniform is crisp as ever: +1, Knows the hippest sushi place in town: +2 Total: 9 Season to Date: 9 Power Position: Up 4. Blair Social Schemes: Tries taking over the girls in her dorm with gift bags and put downs: +1, The plan backfires: -3, Throws a sushi and saketini party: +2, No one shows: -8, Has to grovel to Dan to get an invite to Georgina's party: -4, Ruins the party with a Christian invasion, +10, Gets bested by Dan and everyone stays at the party: -12 Fashion Points: Has her dorm room completely designed in 7 seconds flat: +2, Dan takes her headband of power: -1, Gets a compliment on her... MORE >>
Arianna Huffington Had Michael Moore Over For Lasagna!
Did Arianna Huffington love Michael Moore's new movie so much, and also she knows Michael Moore personally, and had Michael Moore over to her house to talk about his movie and eat lasagna? Click through to find out! SPOILER: Yes! After a preview screening last week (at which I did a Q&A session with Michael), he came over to my home for a late night bite. Over lasagna, he told me about an incident that occurred while he was filming that exemplifies how the economic crisis cannot be looked at through a left vs right prism. That incident: When Michael Moore realized that Arianna Huffington has been a fervent Republican and a fervent Democrat, yet she's still incredibly wealthy. Kidding! It was just some more boring rote blowjobby talking point tripe from Arianna, as always. The real scandal is this whole "I had Michael Moore over to my house for lasagna" bit. 1. Arianna Huffington eats lasagna? And/ or cooks it? Highly doubtful. 2. Were her interns also invited to eat lasagna? 3. Michael Moore wasn't even a tiny bit embarrassed that Arianna Huffington—knowing she would be meeting him that day—made sure to have her kitchen stocked with lasagna? Who's to say he doesn't like carrot juice? He's a man, not Garfield. Come on, dude. Still, he took the lasagna. [Pic: AP] MORE >>
Grisly Annie Le Scoop False, Say Cops
Yesterday the New York Post ran a gruesome update on the Annie Le murder, saying that Le's killer "broke the bones and mangled the body" before stuffing her into a wall. New Haven cops say: False. NYP reporter Rebecca Rosenberg's story yesterday was, without a doubt, the grossest, most vivid depiction yet of the crime scene: Accused murderer Ray Clark was so desperate to hide his heinous handiwork that he allegedly broke the bones and mangled the body of a strangled Yale grad student to fit it through a wall opening the size of a computer screen, The Post has learned. "He just crushed her in there. She was like mush — she was so smashed up you couldn't recognize her," said a source The story makes pretty specific statements on the condition of the body, presumably thanks to a police source. But now the New Haven police say it's false: State's Attorney Michael Dearington asked the New Haven Police Department to clarify the inaccuracy, which he said was picked up by other media outlets. "This information is false and this myth must be dispelled at the request of the state's attorney," said New Haven Police Chief James Lewis. Rosenberg's bylines show she's a hard worker who's been on the Le story since before we even knew she was murdered. Somebody's obviously feeding her lurid info. But it's hard to see why the police would go to the trouble of denying it unless it was actually false. It's possible that her story does have a grain of truth, but that it got hyped up by the Post's editing process so much that it was rendered false. Or maybe they just print whatever? [Pic: AP] MORE >>
A Cornucopia of Reasons Why Nikki Finke Can't Come to Work
Nikki Finke is an industrious and relentless blogger. But she's not a reliable one. As her readers know, she's given to frequent unexpected absences from her blog. Now that she's making $400,000, we're going to start keeping track. One of Finke's many charms is the way she has treated her readership like her boss—she'll call in sick via a post, or beg for just a few more minutes to get her thoughts together on breaking news. And as any regular reader knows, she scarcely goes a month without going dark for a day or two for some reason or other, which she invariably explains on her blog in the manner of a harried writer trying to get an editor off her back: I'm down with the flu, I've got jury duty, this damn internet's not working, I had some bad dental work, I broke my hand. We're all for writers taking time off. And we're in no way prepared to put our own work ethic up against Finke's. But ever since she sold DeadlineHollywoodDaily.com to Jay Penske's Mail.com in a reported multimillion-dollar deal that has her earning $400,000 a year, we've wondered how Finke's frequently erratic work habits would mesh with a real boss, who has investors to satisfy. So we've decided to keep an eye on Finke's "I'm out today" posts, to see what a $400k blogger can get away with. Last Thursday, Finke wrote that she had been in the hospital by way of explaining a shortage of recent posts. We hope she's OK. Finke has written in the past that she suffers from diabetes, which may explain her frequent absences from blogging (though it hasn't hampered a long and active career that has included stints in Moscow and London for the Associated Press). She seems to have bounced back fairly quickly from her latest illness, with a lot of posts over the weekend. To put Finke's salary in perspective, we've gone through her archives and put together a sampling—and this really is just a sampling—of her posts offering reasons for not being able to work. We hope that in her new, corporate environment, Finke will find a way to pace herself and accommodate a more predictable work schedule. Because we agree with this blogger, who wrote a post called "Why Hollywood Gets No Work Done" in 2006: I was shocked to hear that Hollywood types were already leaving town for the July 4th holiday. It's bad enough you guys cancel four straight scheduled meetings with screenwriters. Or have your assistants book appointments six months ahead which you'll cancel anyway. And all without a twinge of guilt. But lately you've become Slacker Town. Finke is no slacker—anyone who's been on the business end of her reporter's notebook knows that she is not afraid to put in the hours on any given story. But she certainly does seem to cancel a lot of appointments with her readers: September 17, 2009 September 14, 2009 September 10, 2009 August 12, 2009 July 31, 2009 July 13, 2009 July 9, 2009 July 7, 2009 June 29, 2009 April 20, 2009 April 15, 2009 April 6, 2009 April 2,... MORE >>
Hot Potato Wins Obama's Letterman Mission
Barack Obama capped a media push by sitting down with David Letterman to talk to the everyman. Yeah, he discussed serious issues, but those hardly matter, because everyone's going to be talking about a heart-shaped potato. The Late Show appearance was the final televisual event in a recent Obama "media blitz," which included the Sunday talk shows. Some, like Peggy Noonan, criticized all the face time, especially the late night sit down. But the President told Dave he simply wanted to take the opportunity to break down his policies for the American people. And, yes, the President talked about some serious issues. For example, the economy, which he says is improving, but remains bogged down by unemployment. He also fleshed out his approach on Afghanistan: review the policies and make a rational decision on how to act. Health care, too, came up, as Obama explained to the laymen how private insurance rapes and pillages American wallets. But never mind all that, because a woman named Mary Apple brought along a heart-shaped potato, a biological anomaly she gave to Obama, who called it "remarkable." Indeed: that potato will definitely come up in newscasts over the next day or so. So, too, will be Obama's "I was actually black before the election" dismissal of Jimmy Carters remarks on racism. Those were two of the precious moments at which the President excels. And that's exactly the point. It doesn't much matter what Obama said about policy. It was almost guaranteed the charming Commander-in-Chief would do something adorable and the White House knows that. And they got it with his potato moment. They needed to reclaim the positive spotlight and, just as importantly, reach younger voters. Though Conan O'Brien generally beats Letterman in terms of "youth" viewers, that demographic would likely be tempted to tune in for someone as big as the President. That demographic may not remember his policy points, or even get involved in the debate, but they'll remember that he's awesome and a Democrat. They'll also remember the heart-shaped potato. And that's half the battle right there! MORE >>
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