Glee: Never Trust a Big Butt and a Smile
Last night our beloved Glee club was almost destroyed by the dastardly Acafellas. Almost, but thanks to Josh Groban, not. Last night we laughed, we cried, and we fell for Bell Biv Devoe like a teenager in 1990. Amazing! As much as we hated the Acafellas for trying to divert Will's attention, they had two of the night's biggest numbers. But excellent though they may have been, they still couldn't live up to Vocal Adrenalin's outstanding set piece or even more moving — Mercedes' incredible rendition of her rage she felt for losing her man. Let's take a look at more petty tyrants, heart break, and sexily loosened bowties! "Poison": The obvious poison was Will himself, who decided that having never pursued his own youthful singing ambitions, he needed to follow his dream to perform. That lead him to create the Acafellas, the world's first all-male music-less hip-hop review, with thumbless shop teacher Henri, coach Ken, and Sheets and Things clerk Howard. When a performance at a local restaurant lead to an invitation to sing at the big PTA meeting (and this was bigger than even the mom-crazy gatherings in Park Slope, so that's saying something), Will forgot all about why he started coaching his choral castaways and focuses all his energy on his new project. Of course that led the remaining Glee kids to head off in search of Dakota Stanley, the best show choir choreographer in the Midwest—which is something akin to being the best baton twirling instructor in the Northeast. Dakota is much meaner and shorter than any winner of Little Miss Twirl, and his insistence that the choir members change their appearance and diet doesn't go over so well. The poison is sucked out more quickly than if Finn got a snake bite in front of Rachel and Kurt, and the crew decides that they'd rather have their uniqueness than a collection of snazzy lifts, dips, and ball changes from Dakota. Also dripping poison in the porches of ears were the cheerleaders, who are on a mission from Sue Motherfucking Sylvester to disband the group so that she can purchase a fog machine. They latch on to lonely Mercedes, coaxing her into going after obvious babygay Kurt. It does not end well. "Mercy": Both Howard and Henri needed some mercy from the juggernaut of pressure that was the Acafellas. Howard's quick bow was never really explained (though it might have had something to do with plot devices), and Henri couldn't stand the pressure and it led to a relapse of his cough medicine addiction. It wasn't long after that that Will was begging Finn for mercy so that he would join the group to keep his hope alive. Begging to get into the group was Puck, the mohawk of our dreams. Puck has a dream too. He wants to sing and play guitar and get into the pants of every cougar in Lima, Ohio. With a body like his, he should have no problem realizing at least part of dream. Puck lets Ken know he wants in, and Ken agrees, because he feels like the only reason he is getting laid is because he's... MORE >>
Gollum Found Dead in Panama
Pretty quiet summer monster season this year, right? Wrong, mi amigo. A distant cousin of the Montauk Monster emerged from its cave in Panama. Then terrified kids beat it to death. According to reports in Panama, the teenagers spotted the creature crawling out of a cave while playing in the town of Cerro Azul north of Panama City. Fearing for the safety as it moved towards them, the youths claim they attacked the beast with sticks before throwing its lifeless body into a pool of water. All it wanted was to play with the children. And now this. A sad statement on our fear of the unknown. But at least our new friend will leave a legacy. As Telemetro noted in the original (translated) report, "while some say it may be a being from another planet, others simply believe that is an animal." Some say it's a sloth. We say: It's a lost friend. [Pic via Telemetro] MORE >>
Cops Say the Lab Technician Was the Killer
Raymond Clark III has gone from "Person of Interest" to accused perp. The Yale lab tech was arrested this morning and charged with killing Annie Le. At least all the scrutiny wasn't misdirected. The latest news makes him sound worse. Police (and media) had been staking out the Super 8 motel where Clark was staying; police went in shortly before 8:30 this morning and took him into custody. Since our last roundup of Raymond Clark news yesterday—when, honestly, even the vaguely incriminating things sounded like they could have had plausible innocent explanations—he's now looking a bit shadier. In hindsight. Today's newest factoids: Clark's Sexual Assault Allegations in High School In 2003, Clark's high school girlfriend told police she wanted to break up with him but was scared of what he might do. The New Haven police chief has refused to discuss this case so far. After [a detective] spoke to the two students at the school, the girl went with her mother to the police station to talk to him, according to the Independent. The girl "wished to tell me of an incident that took place; however, did not want it pursued by this department," Washington wrote. "She stated that she had been having a sexual relationship with [Clark] and that at one time [Clark] did force her to have sex with him. The relationship did continue after that incident; however, she is unsure of what he may do as a result of the breakup." Clark Explains His Injuries [New Haven Register, NYP] Sources also told the newspaper that Clark bore bruises, scratches and abrasions on his arms and chest, as well as a mark on his right ear and under his eye. He said some of the injuries were suffered during a softball game, the others were cat scratches, according to the Register. More From His Girlfriend's Blog The NYP dug up a more extended 2008 excerpt from the Myspace blog of Jennifer Hromadka, Clark's fiancee. "Spring is in the air and this time of year it seems that the rumors pop up more than the flowers (at least that is how it is [at the Yale animal-research center where the two work].) I have noticed recently that my relationship seems to be the focus of a lot of these rumors! . . . I could be a bitch and give it right back cause lord knows some of the 'people' deserve it but I choose to ignore the rumors and try to keep in mind that the people that are the source are a bit jealous. The Clark Family [NYT] [Clarification: This is just information, not incriminating information. Okay.] Mr. Clark grew up in a rented gray house in a working-class neighborhood of aspirations when a nearby factory was humming. Jim Garrett, 65, who lives two doors down, said the house the Clarks lived in deteriorated as the years went by and the factory closed, and eventually Mr. Clark's parents moved out. They went to a condominium in Cromwell, Conn., north of Middletown, where Mr. Clark's mother works in the Wal-Mart across the street. MORE >>
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