What Has the World Got Against Sienna Miller?
The critics think her first big-budget movie sucks. The Washington Post thinks Sienna Miller's famous for no reason. But just wait until you see how Vogue goes after her in The September Issue! This girl's got it bad. When R.J. Cutler's documentary (out August 28!) about the making of Vogue screened at Sundance, the gossips picked up on Miller being called "toothy, and we finally have the moment between photog Mario Testino and design director Charles Churchward (who left the magazine last summer) discussing her dental work and how much work her neck is going to need to be presentable. You heard about it, but seeing it is even worse. If you think that is bad, just wait to see the face that she elicits from the usually stoic Anna Wintour when she first sees Miller in the dress that she is meant to wear on the cover. It is somewhere between disgusted surprise and unamused scorn. Is Miller the only celeb who would agree to be on the cover of the issue knowing they'd have to deal with the accompanying potentially unflattering documentary footage? Maybe Anna's face says, "Jesus, this is what I'm forced to put on the cover of my magazine?!" And if so, what a way to repay her. Just like she can't help getting on Anna's bad side, Sienna can't really be blamed for the cinematic abortion that is G.I. Joe (actually, she's one of the best parts about it), but its release seems like the perfect time to go after her. Dragging out the dead horse about the famous-for-being-famous for a few more pounds, Amy Argetsinger uses Miller as the lynchpin for her lynching of the "famesque." Right about now you're thinking, "Who's Sienna Miller again? Remind me why I'm supposed to know her?" It's okay! There's absolutely no reason you should know who she is—not even if you're a religious follower of the celebrity press that tracks her so closely. She's an actress, but odds are you've never seen a single one of her movies or TV shows. Miller is a pioneer in a new kind of fame that is changing our celebrity culture, a fame that is increasingly disconnected from the star's success in the field for which he or she is ostensibly famous. That is a new kind of fame? As Argetsinger points out, people have been obsessed with people for no particular reason since Zsa Zsa Gabor, but still Argetsinger needles Miller through her entire article. Sure, Miller may be most famous for baring her tits and sleeping with married men, but it's gotta suck when you become the celeb punching bag du jour. MORE >>
Graydon Carter's Monthly Mortgage Payment Is Probably Less Than Your Rent
Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter has an interest-free $5.3 million mortgage on his four-story greek revival townhouse in Greenwich Village, courtesy of his sweetheart deal with Condé Nast. What's he pay? Oh, $2,083 a month. Last week we looked into nearly bankrupt photographer Annie Leibovitz's sweetheart loans from Condé Nast, which — assuming the McKinsey consultants stalking 4 Times Square haven't put an end to the practice — has a habit of financing the homes of its executives and celebrity staffers. It looked like the company might have called in the debt as a way to shore up it's ever-weakening balance sheet, so we kept browsing through New York's property records to see if any other magazine all-stars were in a similar position. We haven't come across evidence of other loans being taken off Condé Nast's books, but we did find the $5.3 million mortgage agreement Carter made in 2006 when he bought his home on Bank Street. Carter's deal has been reported before by the New York Observer, which did a round-up of Condé Nast's sweetheart deals in 2006. What hasn't been reported are the insane terms: There's no interest on the loan, and Carter is required to repay the principal at a rate of $25,000 per year, payable in one lump sum each January 1: At that rate—which works out to $2,083.33 per month—Carter would repay the loan in 212 years. (He would also need to set a longevity record: the full balance is due if he dies or within a year of when he stops working for Condé Nast.) Carter, who made $1.5 million a year in 2004 according to the Observer, recently wrote of the subprime mortgage crisis: "I've read everything on the subprime-mortgage and banking crises I can get my hands on, and I still don't understand much of it." Which is understandable, if you're not accustomed to such onerous industry practices as interest rates and 30-year terms. The loan to Carter came courtesy Advance Magazine Publishers, which is Condé Nast's parent company and has made similar deals for dozens of other Condé Nast employees, from the New Yorker's David Remnick to Portfolio's Joanne Lipman. But according to a public records search, a different lender financed a $150,000 line of credit on Carter's second home in Connecticut: Magazine Special Projects LLC, which also happens to serve as the secured party for a co-op owned by Peter Weinberger, the president of Advance Internet, and is located at Condé Nast's 4 Times Square headquarters. The loans to Leibovitz were likewise granted with a bit of corporate legerdemain—they came from Rhinebeck Properties, LLC, which is also headquartered at 4 Times Square. It seems that S.I. Newhouse doesn't like people sniffing around his lending portfolio, and has a host of LLCs to hide the deals. If you know the names of any other Condé Nast corporate shells that the company uses to dole out its sweetheart loans, let us know. MORE >>
Six Urban Legends We're Glad Won't Die
Last Week, Lady Gaga accidently/on-purpose showed off her penis to the world. We don't think she's really a hermaphrodite, but the fiction has already joined the great pantheon of celebrity urban myths. Though we don't think it's true, fans will be trotting out Gaga's supposed confirmation for years. They'll also be blowing up the photos of her "dick" in all its pixellated glory until it looks like the first photos of the Loch Ness Monster on the cover of the Weekly World News. The original celebrity hermaphrodite was Jamie Lee Curtis. We prefer to tell it like she is a "super female," born with two X chromosomes and one Y, because sometimes being a hermaphrodite isn't exotic enough. Of course Curtis only has two X chromosmes, she's only guilty of being really tall and kinda butch. The story goes that Rod Stewart had go to to the hospital because he had ingested so much semen that his body couldn't process it and he had to have his stomach pumped. That's a whole lotta love-juice. This tale was recycled and used on New Kid on the Block Jordan Knight in the early '90s. We can't wait to hear this about a Jonas brother. The exact details of the myth surrounding Broadway and Gimme A Break star Nell Carter are fuzzy, but they always boil down to this: she had no clitoris. Either it was burnt off or ripped off backstage in a quick change or fell off from doing too much cocaine with her vagina (seriously?!). One of the best urban legends is that the kid who played Mikey in the Life cereal commercials died from eating Pop Rocks and drinking Coke at the same time. While actor John Gilchrist is still alive, we're afraid this tale will soon die out. What former child star can we afflict with a deadly sweet tooth to keep it going? Ever hear the one about Richard Gere... MORE >>
New Craigslist Hookers, Same as the Old Craigslist Hookers
Craigslist replaced its much-maligned "erotic services" section with a more responsible "adult" section. So were prostitutes driven away by mandatory credit card payments and staff review of their ads? No, they just got more subtle. Hooker subtle! Instead of posting nude photos with their "massage" and "escort" ads, providers now post bikini pictures, the San Francisco Chronicle reports. And instead of explaining how many times you can have sex with them, they now "quote their prices in roses per hour." This is all wayyy too confusing for customers, says the "Erotic Service Providers Union," proving decisively the Craigslist has the dumbest johns on the planet. MORE >>
Fired Gay Anchor: Martyr or Mess?
Charles Perez was the perfect blow-dried sex symbol Miami news anchor. But he was gay, and last week he was fired. And while the station say Perez's gay-ness was immaterial, he says it had everything to do with getting canned. WPLG, the Miami ABC affiliate, has said that it was Perez's insubordination and high profile personal issues that forced them to fire him (he filed a complaint against the station after a personal email from him to his therapist was leaked there). The Miami New Times says that station insiders attributed Perez's firing the uproar over the leaked email scandal and its fallout—too much publicity is bad for the station's image. The same would have happened to anyone. But Perez himself is firmly in martyr mode; he writes that the anti-gay sentiment at work was overt, and that it led first to his being demoted to weekend anchor, and then fired: One of my colleagues, a higher-up at the station, told me: "The weekends will be better for you, anyway, Charles. You and Keith [my partner] want to have kids. It's a lot less high-profile there."... In fact, over the previous five months, I'd been told, "Don't get married, Charles. We don't need that." I'd also been told not to have children. In essence: "You're the main anchor and you're gay, but let's not push it." WPLG also does have a gay news director! But he's not on air so who knows? Charles Perez is either a brave civil rights martyr or a vain egomaniac but far be it from us to make judgments. [Pic via] MORE >>
Meet America's New Celebrity 'It' Couple: Levi Johnston and Kathy Griffin
Well look who showed up holding hands on the red carpet at the Teen Choice Awards tonight! America's most ubiquitous fag-hag and the Alaskan cock-gangsta himself. It's love! Of course, this is all just a publicity stunt. Griffin's a savvy, recently dumped publicity-whore and Levi's a painfully simple, recently-dumped publicity whore, so all of this makes perfect sense. Reports E! Online: Asked what it's like being Griffin's date for the show, he smiled, "I just, you know, look at her, shut up and do what I'm told." While Griffin has yet to visit Johnston in his hometown, she actually has been to Alaska. "I have played Alaska, but so nowhere near where he grew up," she said. "I played a Rosie [O'Donnell] lesbian cruise there and I'm pretty sure Levi wasn't on that cruise. I mean, I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure Levi is not kicking it with the lesbian cruises." Now behold, love, as captured by an AP red carpet photographer. First, like a good Alaskan gentleman, Levi seals it with a kiss: And here's perhaps the most least passionate hand-hold even captured by still photography: So the burning question on everyone's mind has to be — did Levi nail her? MORE >>
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