SoHo House's Nü Elitism: Take Off Your Suit, Give Us Real Books
SoHo House, why're you so cruel? The Manhattan country club thriving on envy of an "elite" membership will crack down on violators of their draconian policies/culture eugenics! Suits are neit wanted. Neither are real books, which they intend to imprison. A report from the trenches comes to us from a deeply disturbed member of the 'House. The last time you heard from SoHo House, they were spending the summer attempting to cleanse themselves of unsavory, money-earning types or just trying to off them. Well, it looks like they've finally advanced on Poland started to enforce the rule. And maybe they have quotas? From deep in the belly of the beast, we hear from a tipster who's being discriminated against in real time: I went to the movie two days ago, got a bottle of wine and sat with a friend. Suit and no tie. And I got a call yesterday from someone saying they really want the club to be relaxed and asking me not to wear a suit and tie on the roof. I told her I was wearing no tie and was at the movie, and she said they are really trying to make the club a more relaxed place like it used to be. And that the club was for artistic people. And that it was part of "an ongoing conversation." It was as Orwellian as it was annoying For a conversation about curating a community of creative types, it sounds pretty angry and one-sided. Isn't trying to bring together a community of artists by shutting down a means of expression counter-intuitive? What if an artist ejaculated on that suit, or something? You don't know what art is, Man. Meanwhile, they're also trying to make SoHo House a distinctly more, ahem, literary place to be. From an email sent out to members recently: Real Library, Real Books As part of the Library renovation, we're replacing the bookshelf wallpaper with real shelves and real books. We're planning on having a section devoted to members' books so if you're an author and would like to donate some copies, please let Claire know at claire@sohohouseny.com. Likewise, we'd love to hear from publishers and agents who may be able to donate. You know someone there used to spend hours rifling through that wallpaper. This is sad. But Claire would love to hear from you, Agents! May we suggest selections from the Gawker Book Club or Status Galley Book Club. Or maybe even something sprung from Gawker's loins! You have plenty of Tumblr-To-Book-Deal books to choose from - they are easy reads! Often in large print with plenty of pictures, and also, are not narrative-driven - or even The Official, Critically Acclaimed Gawker Book, a few copies of which we'd be glad to donate to your cause (don't worry, we have a few extras after unloading some on the masochistic coding squad now-enlightened citizens of Hungary during our last visit there). Truly! There's use you can find from these books, especially now that the Culture Gestapo is on the loose. We hereby bequeath you our advance review copy of Look At This Fucking Hipster, as it'll help you separate... MORE >>
Helicopter And Plane Crash Over Hudson River
Woah: it's being reported that a small plane and a helicopter have crashed over the Hudson River. NY1 and CNN have the story, we'll be updating as we get more. The Twitteratti are all over this. Update: Bloomberg's statement. Apparently a small plane and a Liberty Tours helicopter had a mid-air collision. There's been one reported death, but there are survivors. There's an FDNY live feed where you can watch the rescue efforts. And the Twitteratti, of course, are reporting this story first. The Atlantic's Marc Ambinder believes that other than one DOA, everyone else made it: They're being transported to the 30th Street helipad. Non-blogger Michael Orell happened to be at Chelsea Piers; this is the second time he's watched a plane get fished out of the Hudson. Some guy supposedly posted a picture on Twitter of a tire from the plane that crashed: While one Twitterer claims to have actually been on a Water Taxi and seen it happen: One guy notes that they're fishing people out of the Hudson right now: The New York Times' Brian Stelter is crowdsourcing Q & A's from on-the-scene witnesses. This person, who was thankful to be alive (and having brunch), seems to have a new appreciation for mortality: Beleaguered Mets fan and Mediaite blogger Anthony "SoupSoup" DeRosa's also on the case. He's picking up reports from an FDNY scanner: So, basically, that awful Nicolas Cage movie Knowing where the entire world falls apart due to (SPOILER ALERT) solar flares is basically becoming true because everything's fucking crashing. Avoid going outside, live in fear, wear lots of seatbelts. We'll be updating here as we get news. MORE >>
How Violently Does G.I. Joe Suck?
G.I. Joe wasn't screened for critics because Paramount wanted to market the movie to Middle Amerikkka without being judged. Critical reviews are finally coming in. They're going to be bad, it's just a matter of how bad. And how bad? Roger Ebert says G.I. Joe wasn't as bad as Transformers 2. But it still sucked ass: "G. I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra" is a 118-minute animated film with sequences involving the faces and other body parts of human beings. It is sure to be enjoyed by those whose movie appreciation is defined by the ability to discern that moving pictures and sound are being employed to depict violence. Nevertheless, it is better than "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen." Richard Corliss from Time thinks the entire thing is self-parody, and furthermore calls out the - and I'm paraphrasing - bitchass bloggers that were shown the film for being cornered into studio hype: One of the few smart things about G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra was the decision by Paramount Pictures to refuse to screen the movie for the press. The studio's previous summer toy story, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, had earned a sheaf of pans, then took in more than $800 million in its first six weeks of release. Hoping lightning would strike twice, but without the annoying critical thunder, Paramount showed G.I. Joe, which it hopes will be the first in a lucrative series, only to a few reliable bloggers. Less docile scribes like me had to catch a public screening last night at midnight. As the old line goes about some long-ago lemon: The movie wasn't released - it escaped. Shots ring out! Rolling Stone's Peter Travers-king of the publicity pull-quote-got all poopie-pants when the movie wasn't screened for him! Watch his tantrum, as he first summarizes the film, then recommends a better Paramount movie: The goal is stop arms dealer McCullen...from destroying the world with warheads packed with cockroaches. Well, they looked like roaches to me. McCullen calls then nanomites. No one really bothers to explain how these nanomites morph from insects into green slime. And this in a movie that helpfully tells us, via subtitle, that Paris is in France...There is an antidote if you see G.I. Joe and feel unclean. Get a copy of Team America World Police, the 2004 puppet musical from South Park's Trey Parker and Matt Stone. It totally skewers the 'America Fuck Yeah' idiocy on parade here. It might be worth noting that one of the film's major set-pieces has the Eiffel Tower getting taken down by a missle-turned-green-slime in a piece of Anti-France porn sentiment that's even outdated for hicks by like, six years. This movie sucks so bad, even Young Republican Kyle Smith of the New York Post - who ragged on Do The Right Thing as patently wrong - hated this movie. His review sucked, but here's some more of what it's like: That movie [The Mummy] and this one share a director, Stephen Sommers, who also inexplicably places the Joes' HQ beneath the Great Pyramids (hell, sand... MORE >>
Madonna Regrets Divorcing Normal Person Because Jewish Bubbies Hate Jesus
Madonna regrets breaking up with Guy Ritchie because she's bored schtupping young men. Kate Major's still talking, for some reason, about Jon Gosselin. Leighton Meester went shopping and the SWAT team was called in. Here's your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup: Madonna regrets breaking up with Guy Ritchie, supposedly. Also, the novelty of dating her A-Rod proxy, Jesus Luz, has worn off, sources say, which is besides all of her Kabbalah friends being like, OY, A GOYIM NAMED JESUS?! Madge, babbeleh, step off it. Anyway, now that Madonna's learning the whole Big Yellow Taxi Theory firsthand, maybe she will stop tearing down trees/divorcing husbands who are probably good for her in the long run and shtupping men who're half her age. Also, getting to write about Madonna and Kabbalah reminds me of this 1998 MTV VMA performance where she did this ridiculous Shanti chant that segued into "Ray of Light." Two things: (1) in retrospect, this moment makes so much sense on the Timeline of Madonna Being Ridiculous as it was clearly kind of an important one and (2) the VMAs, man: they just don't make them like they used to. Watch Lenny Kravtiz get on stage with Madge for "Ray of Light" and come to terms with the fact that you just don't have it in you to be as ridiculous as Madonna. [Showbiz Spy] Star reporter and Star-fucker Kate Major thinks Jon Gosselin needs to be alone right now, and I think Kate Major needs to go to a decompression tank or something. She's the succubus of celebrity reporting. A bunch of Long Island teenagers in Great Neck freaked out and basically shut down a road after they saw Leighton Meester shopping yesterday. They had to, like, call in the SWAT team or something just to keep these kids at bay while Meester perused the racks of a, let's see, a Steven Dann store? Can someone tell me if that's impressive or pedestrian? No offense to Great Neck - okay, offense to Great Neck - but it can't be that impressive if she was shopping in Great Neck. Also: why was she shopping in Great Neck? The only truth to Page Six items is that, like religion and drugs, they only lead to more questions. [Page Six] In what's clearly a Richard Johnson-penned item, Joan Rivers, who's now like 109, hired three security guards to watch over her penthouse apartment "to make sure that guests weren't tempted to swipe any of her tchotchkes." Oy. Paranoia reigns supreme, but then again, Rivers' tchotchkes could probably be sold to the Natural Museum of History, so there's that. [Page Six] Tracy Morgan and his wife are getting a divorce, and hopefully Morgan will remain stable without her, but for some reason, I don't think this is going to happen. Am I the only one on this? [NY Daily News] Sienna Miller told Conan O'Brien that she burned her boobs on the set of G.I. Joe after an explosion went wrong and her bra caught fire. I'm sure this won't encourage the young delinquient masses who're G.I. Joe's sad target audience at all. At. All. [NY Daily News] Fanboys,... MORE >>
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