Which Conde Nast Titles Will Die?
It's your lucky day, Gawker readers, because we are running one of our patented "contests," and the winner of the dubious prize could you be you! This one involves Conde Nast. But any idiot can enter. It's easy. All you have to do is guess, 1. Which will be the next two Conde Nast titles to be eliminated? And, 2. When will they go? Put your guesses in the comments. The person who gets the first question right wins; in the event of a tie, we'll go to the second question. As pessimists, we figure that Conde's budget cuts will force it to start folding its weaker mags, inevitably, over the next few months. If we're wrong, we're wrong. But we don't think it should take too long. We haven't formalized the prize just yet, but rest assured that it will be something! In addition to being recognized as a media death genius here, on this website, I've been instructed to say that there's a "possibility" of maybe having breakfast with Nick Denton at Balthazar. If we can convince him. If not, maybe...breakfast with a lowlier Gawker Media employee! No matter what, it will be a prize to be treasured, as well as remembered. Put your guesses in the comments now! Conde Nast employees especially encouraged to enter. MORE >>
What Does Andrew Sullivan Do For Fun? (Get High With Impunity)
In this video, The Atlantic's Ta-Nehisi Coates asks his colleague Sullivan what he does for fun. Funny question, considering Sullivan was recently busted for pot possession on a federal beach, but charges were mysteriously dropped without explanation. Oh the laughs! The Atlantic interview took place in Provincetown, Mass., where Sullivan keeps a summer home and where he was also ticketed for possession of marijuana in July by a federal park ranger. But a prosecutor dismissed the charges "in the interests of justice," a move that Sullivan has declined to explain. We don't know why Sullivan is laughing, but we think it's because he wants to answer the question by saying, "I get high, all the time, with pot that I carry around on my person." But he can't because that would raise the question as to why he's allowed to do that but other people have to pay fines for it and have crimes on their records. Ha ha ha. MORE >>
Watch Larry Ellison Flip Out At His Own Idea
Larry Ellison threw a fantastic tantrum against the mindless cult of "Cloud Computing," a fascination of "nitwit" Silicon Valley investors, as Ellison calls them. But the Oracle CEO was himself once a "nitwit." Just look: Attached is a video in which we've spliced Ellison's rant, delivered last week at the Churchill Club and recorded by TechPulse 360, with excerpts from an interview Ellison gave to Charlie Rose in 1996. At the time, Ellison was campaigning for the world to adopt "Network Computers," jargon for Web applications operated from stripped down computer terminals. "Cloud Computing," meanwhile, is the contemporary jargon term for Web applications. As he told Rose, Ellison was convinced PCs were way too complex for ordinary people, and would eventually be replaced by his "NCs." Of course, things didn't turn out that way; in the ensuing 13 years PCs have spread not only to many more homes but also to many more datacenters, where clusters of cheap boxes with the same hardware guts as home Windows machines have displaced large servers from the likes of Oracle's Sun division. As Ellison alludes to in his more current rant, Google runs on such machines. Maybe it is precisely because Ellison himself once employed "NC" jargon and hype to predict the imminent decline of certain competitors, Microsoft chief among them, that he can so eloquently rant against people who are trying to do the same thing with "cloud computing" today. Of course, Ellison's newfound distaste for hype also might have something to do with the fact that his company, Oracle, is now the supposedly declining competitor, and ex Oracle executive Marc Benioff's SalesForce.com is the company pumping out the hypey internet jargon. MORE >>
Glee: Everybody Loves a Winner
The only thing gayer than Kristen Chenoweth singing a Liza Minnelli song from Cabaret on Glee is...well, there is nothing gayer than Kristen Chenoweth singing a Liza Minnelli song from Cabaret on Glee. And it was glorious! Getting one of Broadway's reigning superstars (and a recent Emmy winner!) to guest star on the show not only upped the gay quotient of an already flaming hour, but gave us even more amazing performances. Now that Chenoweth won't be wasting her time on television's last delightfully quirky and different hour (thanks, ABC!) she needs a regular role on television's newest delightfully quirky and different hour. I'm starting the campaign now: Save April Rhodes! Everyone start mailing Fox boxes of wine until they bring her back. But Will's plot to win the war of the Glee clubs this week centered on Li'l Miss Rhodes in an episode that had the lovable losers acting out of desperation and isolation. It was behavior they would regret, because in the end, all anyone wants is somebody to love—and somebody to love them. "Maybe This Time": The moment boozy April Rhodes slurred "Give me 'Maybe This Time' in B flat," a tingle ran through my body that is usually reserved for Madonna concerts and sightings of members of the cast of Gossip Girl. What is "Maybe This Time?" Kill yourself! It's the famous number from Cabaret (the movie version, not the original Broadway production, thank you very much) that won Liza Minnelli an Oscar. If you haven't seen it, watch it here. It comes during a point in the movie when Sally Bowles has landed her gay object of affection and thinks that her bad luck in love is going to change. The thing that makes this song soul crushing is not the blind hope in the face of adversity, but the irony that all her hopes will be dashed because she's misplaced them in a situation that is doomed from the start. And when Liza extends her Fosse arms into the spotlight, her outstretched fingers ready to grab the brass ring, we know that she'll only end up with fistful of stale cigarette smoke. When Babygay Kurt heard it, he shed a single tear. So did I. It's encoded on the gene. When April and Rachel duet the part, we know that everyone's schemes for survival will be dashed. April has come back from a life of dead-end jobs, squatting in foreclosed houses, and giving birth to sets of mixed-race twins, and hopes that getting her diploma and a little bit of that Sally Bowles spotlight can get her back on track. Rachel has quit Glee—where she doesn't feel like she is appreciated—to stand center stage in a school production of Cabaret (PS—who are these kids who will star in the school musical but won't join Glee? Will there be a Sharks vs. Jetts choreographed fight later in the season?). Also doomed to fail are Will, who will do just about anything to make his dream of Glee happen, and Finn, who needs to get out Lima and get to college so that he can have some kind of life and support his child. The saddest... MORE >>
Chicago Hipsters Take to the Streets in Anti-Olympics Mayhem
Meet the new face of terror; if you're an Olympic banner at least. If there's one thing hipsters hate — besides being called hipsters — it is Olympics. Exertion, competition, marketing, body shaving, sportscasters with goatees; the Olympics are like a convention of hipster betes noire. So apparently the Chicago hoodie community didn't get the memo from the President about the vital importance of winning the 2016 summer games for the Windy City. Last night, six 20-somethings hit pause on their Animal Collective mix and took to the streets last night in a display of anti-Olympic hooliganism certain to make the IOC think twice before exposing the world's greatest athletes to a metropolis filled with so many bummed out young people. Before the mayhem was over, an Olympic's boosting banner had been ripped from the downtown area's Picasso statue, and immolated forever, in the nearby eternal flame. Peer into the faces of the Chicago Six, ye purveyors of Discus throwing contests and know your mortal foe. Meet the Chicago Six, the beacons of a new movement against global athletic competitions and all the banners and pageants stuff that goes along with them. MORE >>
Why Do All of China's Celebrations Look Alike?
Today's the glorious 60th anniversary of China's rebirth as a communist nation. And, as it does, the government pulled out all the predictable, synchronized stops to celebrate. Yawn. We've seen it all before. Let's take an excessively red-blooded American look. MORE >>
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