Arrest Over Facebook 'Poke' Makes Meaningless Gesture Risque
When the internet was young and innocent, it was acceptable to "finger" college classmates. These days, a simple Facebook "poke" can land you in jail, in Tennessee, and CNN has say "alleged" poking, because, hey, libel. Granted, Shannon Jackson, the accused, was under court order not to communicate with the woman she poked (see attached clip). But couldn't said woman have turned off poking? Or blocked pokes from Jackson? Maybe her profile was sort of asking for it? In addition to, uh, literally asking for it? Government paid lawyers should definitely fight about these crucial issues, at length, in court. MORE >>
Bruce Wasserstein, 61
Billionaire Lazard chairman and New York magazine owner Bruce Wasserstein, who was hospitalized with heart trouble last weekend, has died at the age of 61. The story just broke, and the cause of death is unconfirmed thus far. But Wasserstein's health has been a subject of speculation for years; he shed a significant amount of weight a few years ago, sparking rumors of ill health then. Wasserstein built a career as a consummate dealmaker. But his last piece of work in the media was a deal he didn't make; he withdrew from the bidding on BusinessWeek last month, after considering trying to land the magazine for his portfolio. Born to a wealthy family in Brooklyn, Wasserstein came out of Harvard and became one of the premier M&A men on Wall Street. He advised on hundreds of billions of dollars worth of deals over the course of more than 20 years. He formed his own investment bank, sold it off for more than $1 billion, and then joined Lazard, where he continued his work. He divorced his wife last year, and early this year married a much younger woman, who now finds herself a widow. The effect of Wasserstein's death on New York and on his financial business are still unknown; but the fallout will surely be felt. Soon. UPDATE: Daily Intel has this statement from the bosses at New York magazine: New York Media editor-in-chief Adam Moss and publisher Larry Burstein released the following statement: "We're shocked and saddened by the loss of Bruce Wasserstein. We extend our deepest sympathy to his family and friends and share in their grief." MORE >>
Today's Hipster Grifter News: Cellmate, Porn
A letter from the Hipster Grifter's cellmate in her Utah jail. Would that be too much, in terms of "Wringing every last ounce from this mystifyingly popular story?" What about a Kari Ferrell pornography job offer? EH? You want it! ITEM ONE: Bucky Turco, the Hipster Grifter's official prison pen pal, is now also pen pals with Jerzy Mitchell, who is Kari Ferrell's cell mate. He posted a letter from her today. Go read it or you will be slightly less prepared when the Hipster Grifter Jeopardy category shows up. ITEM TWO: Burning Angel's Joanna Angel says that she would be very enthusiastic about engaging in conjugal relations with Kari, on video. So. Just something to consider. MORE >>
The Hills: The Island of Misfit Sex Toys
What would it be like to live in a world where you are the only person with a job? Stacie The Bartender gave us a page of her diary so we could live vicariously through her. Dear Diary, I woke up at about one today because Kristin was banging on my door with three cameras and two ladies in tight jeans with clipboards. They all wanted me to go shopping at The Hustler store. It must be really hard for Kristin to be so famous in Canada that people are following her around all the time. I wouldn't want to have all those cameras on me. Anyway, we go to the store and we play with some sex toys, but we're really looking for a present for Kristin's ex boyfriend Brody. I totally tried to sleep with Brody once, when Kristin was back in Canada getting famous. I kept giving him free shots of Patron hoping that he would tell me how pretty I was, and then when he was really wasted we kind of made out a little bit, but it was all fun. Then he told me that he can't date a girl with a job, because he has needs. Then he met this girl named Jayde. I don't know how I know that her name is spelled with a Y in the middle, but she just seems like she would, you know. Because it's during the day, I get invited to Brody's birthday party. It's very exciting and there are lots of girls in bikinis jumping on trampolines. It's just like the bar where I work. And then all these girls like Stephanie and Lo are there and they are asking me to get them drinks. Can't they tell the difference between when I'm at work and when I'm not? God, I only wear a bikini at work and a one piece when I'm out with my friends. It's not that hard to tell the difference. Everyone keeps asking Kristin where "her man" is, and by that I think they mean Justin Twonames, because it would be kind of weird to take her dad to a birthday party. Even though Justin Twonames isn't showing up, Kristin is telling everyone she's dating him. I tried to date Justin Twonames once, and he came over and surfed while I lounged on the beach and watched him. And then he came up and shot water all over me from a hose and I jumped up in down in my bikini, even though I wasn't working. But then I realized he had a huge tattoo that said "Italia" across his chest and I was like, awesome, and then I told him that I wanted to get tattoos of stars on my toes, and he thought that was stupid. Wait. That didn't happen to me, it happened to Kristin. But she told me about it. After the birthday party, I totally called the bar and told them I wasn't coming in because Kristin was having an afterparty for Brody at her house. At first, no one was there, and Kristin and I were hanging out and I was telling her all about the exact science behind mixing drinks. I told her that I was thinking of creating, like, a school where we could train bar scientists, but I call them mixologists, because that sounds way more official. Well, Brody showed up and said that he got in a big fight with Jayde about whether or not to go to the party. Luckily... MORE >>
Joe Jackson Sells Out His Grandkids for Reality TV Fame
A&E purchased the reality show The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty which will feature appearances by the late Michael Jackson's three kids, Prince, Paris, and Blanket. Thankfully, at least one Jackson thinks this is a bad idea. Us Weekly reports that Rebbie Jackson, Michael's oldest sister and the one who is suhttp://publish.gawker.com/ged/5381533#pposedly caring for the children, is not participating in the show and believes it would make Michael "spin in his grave." The children are in the custody of their grandmother, Katherine, who will participate in the show along with her husband Joe, who was always the mastermind behind the family's grabs at fame. A source tells Us that Katherine "is just going along with things." Didn't the family learn their lesson the first time around. A life that started in the spotlight didn't turn out that great for Michael, why would he want to inflict that on these children as well. And look at poor Blanket in the picture above. Does that look like a kid who wants to have cameras in his bedroom? The rest of the family—including Janet, the most famous living Jackson—is on board for either five hour-long episodes or 10 half hours. There will be 23 Jacksons in total, so it sounds like the whole brood will be counting their reality television money together. Update: A rep for A&E told CNN that Michael Jackson's children "are not part of the series." Us Weekly says it stands by its story. [Image via Getty] MORE >>
The Potential Importance of a Michelle Obama Action Figure
If imitation's the highest form of flattery, what's the action figure? The pint-sized likeness, once dominated by the likes of G.I. Joe, has become playground to the political elite. And now Michelle Obama's joining the plasticine ranks. Yes, like her husband — and other political luminaries — the First Lady will be immortalized as an action figure, thanks to Jailbreak Toys. And, since she's so fashion forward, Michelle will be available in three different outfits: all inspired by some of her signatures looks, like the black and white ensemble worn on The View. So she's really more of a Barbie than anything else. But back to our original question, or a variation. All of last year's big political players — Hillary, John, Sarah — have been shrunk down to action figure form. Even crazy GOP congresswoman Michele Bachmann has a plastic replication (although, the poor thing, only 50 have sold). And then there are comic books: Barack Obama and John McCain were both featured in Spider Man adventures, and the Female Force series features Hillary, Sarah, Michelle and even Caroline Kennedy. Are these baubles and funny pages proof of how consumerist cultures fabricate unnecessary "needs"? Or are they a more playful form of political idolization, an idolization that's born in the cult of personality? These people are, to millions, literal heroes, so why not put them in superhero form so that the public can have and hold those who inspire them more than some silly Transformer? And then, much like politics itself, toss them aside or sell them to the highest-bidder? Perhaps this phenomenon's a little bit of both, but one thing's for certain: these products prove that great American camp continues to evolve. Just the way God intended... MORE >>
Video Game-Crazed Kids Reach New Levels of Violence
Kids these days sure know how to keep us horrified. Just when we think the little bastards can't get any more psychotic, five middle school boys have been arrested for setting a 15-year old classmate alight. Why? The Deerfield Beach, Florida, fight started because the victim, Michael Brewer (seen here), owed another boy $40 measly bucks for a video game. The indebted boy, 15-year old Matthew Bent, retaliated by stealing Brewer's father's bike, a crime for which Brewer called the cops. That's when things got insane: Bent called up some friends and they went over to Brewer's house, allegedly doused him with lighter fluid and then set him on fire. And now for the truly disturbing detail: witnesses say Bent ordered "pour it on him," while the others laughed and chanted, "he's a snitch." (Apparently the s-word hasn't gone out of style.) The five accused — the youngest of whom is 13 — have been charged with aggravated assault, but 15-year old Jesus Mendez, who allegedly started the fire, also faces attempted second degree charges. Brewer, meanwhile, suffered second degree burns all over his body. All this over a stupid fucking video game, the root of all 21st century evil. Image via WCBS. MORE >>
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