Sad Faces on the Streets of Chicago
It's not every day your city loses the Olympic games. And for the normally stoical people of Chicago, it was a day to let their feelings show. MORE >>
Exclusive Video: Stephanie Birkitt's Very Special Guest Appearances
In addition to her other duties around the set, assistant-in-question Stephanie Birkitt was a frequent on air presence on the Late Show. Although the CBS authorities seem to be rapidly scrubbing the web of Birkitt's clips, we've rounded up a couple of her greatest moments joshing around with the boss. The first video has been tracked down exclusively by Gawker and is currently available on no other website. MORE >>
Letterman Haunted by the Ghosts of Monica Lewinsky Jokes Past
Since David Letterman went public about having sex with members on his staff, one of his myriad humiliations is having all those millions of "sex with interns" jokes he made about Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky turned back at him. The late '90s were a heady time for the late-night monologist, with all the easy jokes about stained blue dresses, cigars, crawling under the desk, and blow jobs in the Oval Office that the protracted Lewinsky/Clinton scandal delivered them on a silver platter with the White House seal emblazoned on it. Letterman made such a franchise out of it, he had a hard time letting the convention die. Now that everyone knows he's been giving it to members of his own staff, he's going to have to endure the sting of the same jibes from Leno, O'Brien, Fallon, and even poor, forgotten Kimmel. Here's a compendium of some of his comedic gems that have turned themselves into barbs: Monica Lewinsky's Top Ten Nicknames for Bill Clinton" 10. Puffy the Intern Slayer 9. Sheriff Bubba 8. The Chief Sexecutive 7. Unnamed High-Ranking Official 6. My Sweet Impeachable You 5. The Little Rock Rascal 4. El Presidente del Armor 3. Tubby Dearest 2. Commander-in-Briefs 1. Free Willie 2 [Source] "Now we hear that Monica has sued the President for $1,000,002.50. That's one million for pain and suffering and $2.50 for dry cleaning." "I really have to hand it to the White House. Around here we can't even get the interns to work the copy machine." [Source] "You may think you have a stressful job, but since she's been a Senator, Hillary Clinton, they say, put on 30 pounds. In fact, she has gotten so heavy that today Bill hit on her." "Celebrity birthdays, today Monica Lewinsky is 28. It seemed like just yesterday she was crawling around on the floor in the Oval Office." "No move ever goes smoothly. Today Clinton's brand new desk arrived. He had to send it back, apparently not enough head room." — David Letterman [Source] "Monica Lewinsky has her own show on HBO. I have not seen it yet but I understand it's getting very good word of mouth." -David Letterman "Monica Lewinsky was on Larry King Live tonight. Monica really liked Larry King. Actually, she likes any guy with a desk." [Source] "Over the weekend President Clinton's dog Buddy died. It is a heartbreaking thing because Buddy was a great dog. Buddy could rollover, Buddy would beg. Buddy could catch things in his mouth - wait a minute - I'm sorry. I am thinking of Monica." "President Bush has authorized the drop of 15,000-pound bombs on Afghanistan. I believe that is the heaviest ordered drop by a president since ... well, Monica." "It turns out now that Bill Clinton ... he had tape recorders working in the Oval Office. This could get pretty good. They apparently were voice activated, just like his fly. These tapes are available to everybody. There's 80 in the Clinton audiotape collection. And if you buy all 80, he'll throw his sex video, 'Too Hot for the Starr Report.' ... The tape recorder was... MORE >>
Gawker Exclusive: Letterman Said to Pay Assistant's Law School Bill
As revealed last night, Late Night host David Letterman could be an especially good boss to some of his more special assistants. The show's staff has long buzzed upon the attentions Dave bestows upon his favorites. Some details Gawker has exclusively learned: • Letterman had a cadre of female assistants who fell heavily on the young and attractive side of the ledger. He was said to employ as not less than three of these Special Assistants to the Host last year. The assistant tally however, was said to have climbed as high as five at moments. • The scuttlebutt on the set had it that current assistant-in-question, Stephanie Birkitt, received extra compensation for duties as his First Assistant, in the form of Letterman picking up the tab for her graduate law studies at the Yeshiva University Law School. • Birkitt's duties included nannying work around the office. She could often be seen playing with his son and chasing him through the office halls. • Birkitt also frequently appeared on air, playing the part of Dave's assistant in sketches and often delivering prizes to audience members in constants. Dave favored Birkitt with playful nicknames in these moments such as "Vicky" "Kitty" and "Dutch." • Each Valentines Day, Letterman sent lavish, expensive bouquets of flowers to each and every non-male on the Late Show staff with a handwritten note signed "Your Friend Dave." • Eyebrows were raised around the office by Letterman's long-delayed marriage to the mother of his now five year old son, whom had has been dating since 1986 and to whom he tied the knot only this year. MORE >>
On Mankind's Maybe Doomed Love for the Undead
Woody Harrelson recently took some time from banging his bongos to make a big Hollywood movie. It's called Zombieland and deals with the undead, a solid cinematic device. Should we be worried? Yes. But what of the soul's role? What is it with living man's attraction the undead? Countless cultures have myths surrounding the reanimated. Afro-Caribbean societites are given credit for unleashing the mindless masses into the mainstream, but many societies shop in the undead. And, of course, movie lovers are no exception. Every since Night of the Living Dead, we've been salivating over tales of humans who have to face their lifeless, brain-eating peers. We could tally the dozens of movies with the word "zombie" in their title, but we suspect that you, dear reader, are well aware of the selling points. Horror flicks peddle in fear of the unknown. That's just how they work. And zombies are reliable precisely because we think they could never be; but could we be wrong? There's no actual proof to, well, prove that zombies could never come into being. On the contrary... Conspiracy lovers believe that the Russians reanimated a dog back in the 40s, when they were all communist and shit. Scoff all you want, but even capitalist scientists are looking into turning back the death clock. The University of Pittsburg isn't the most revered institution in the land, but it hosts a place called the "Safar Center for Resuscitation Research," which examines all the ways in which science can trump nature and revive the living. They've been working on dogs, but could humans be far off? A website called cracked offers some other scary research, like neurogenesis, which looks into ways to reanimate dead brain cells. Meanwhile, scientists are using stem cells to take components from dead embryos and create living tissue. Lots of people are scared of these scientific advancements. And perhaps they should be, but those debates eschew a larger, perhaps uncomfortably metaphysical question. In the end, aren't our popular or scientific fascinations and pursuits with all things zombie motivated by an equally mythical thing: the soul? Even if you claim to be an atheist or, damnation, agnostic, isn't the real scare in zombie lore that someone — a person with friends and family — could return with no apparent loyalty? And couldn't that "loyalty" be called a soul? We don't know — what do we look like, God? — but we do know that this long-held obsession points to a collective compulsion to overcoming nature's ultimate obstacle, death. And that's always entertaining. MORE >>
Click here to safely unsubscribe now from "Gawker: Top Stories" or change your subscription or subscribe
| Your requested content delivery powered by FeedBlitz, LLC, 9 Thoreau Way, Sudbury, MA 01776, USA. +1.978.776.9498 |
No comments:
Post a Comment