Real World Cancun: Please Don't Spit In My Taco
Oh, Mexico. Land of sand and ruins. Place of history and blood. Of vines and mountains. Mexico: where you can get drunk at a laser lightshow nightclub and then spit in your roommate's taco and no one bats an eyelash. Yes, the Real World: Cancun had its first obligatory The Roommates Who Hate Each Other/The Roommates Who Fuck Each Other episode last night, and it just sort of farted into existence, all quiet and smelly, as if MTV was splayed out on the neighboring bed, our hotel room ruined, that cruel beach sun slanting in through the curtains, reminding us that day has arrived but our hangovers have not left. These kids are just sort of dull, the half-baked sorta people you'd see on a show like Fear Factor where personality doesn't matter. You just have to be trashy and scrappy and thoughtless. And these kids have that in spades! So the two couples were: Those That Hate Swoony rockerbilly Joey likes to antagonize girls because he's a little pissant punk-wannabe with that kind of sitting-at-the-back-of-the-class bravado that's, oh you know, catnip to some of us. The girl he most likes to antagonize, because she is ridiculous, is Ayiiiiiia. They fight about basically everything. She walks around like she owns the place, he has mysterious herpes on his lip, he says mean sarcastic things to her, she yells about cigarettes, and then he spits in her taco. Yes m'am JoJo done up and spit in that girl's damn taco when they had been out there after the club tryin' to get theyselves some food. This was in retaliation for Ayiiiiiia running down the street and shrieking "Herpes on your lip! Herpes on your lip! You've got herpes on your lip!" It actually turned into a little song and I ran to the kitchen and grabbed a pot and a wooden spoon and paraded around the house banging them together, as if Ramona Quimby were a sad lonely 26-year-old in Brooklyn, sing-chanting "Herpes on your lip! Herpes on your lip! Everybody's got herpes on their lip!" It was a fun song, and a fun moment, until my roommate came up and spit in my taco. Well, I actually didn't have a taco and she didn't spit, but she did give me a withering look that seemed to say Only one more month..., but on the show Joey did, in fact, spit in the lady's taco. So that started a whole clusterkaduddle and everybody was yelling and Fuckface from UMass got involved and started getting upset. So the girls were out on the balcony complaining about Joey and eating the tacos that had not been spit on. Those bitches really wanted some tacos. I mean, that's commitment. Inside the other roommates were just unsure what to do. Hilariously, the girl from Cadillac Stevens' Foodhut, Jonna, was sitting on a couch-bed eating rolls of ham of cheese. Like taking deli-sliced meats and deli-sliced cheeses and rolling them up into little cylinders and eating them. It was very funny because we've all been there, or at least I have. Points to you, Jonna. So everyone was confused and eating ham and cheese and Joey still... MORE >>
Acting Like a Petulant Child Did Not Endear Sarah Palin to Her Handlers
During the McCain campaign, Roveian media strategist Steve Schmidt proved that he was a shitty Roveian media strategist. He was also responsible for the Palin pick. But he quickly grew to regret that. In the end, Schmidt, architect of the McCain campaign's wildly shifting meta-narratives and stunts, was smart enough to realize that his hail-mary VP stunt had backfired, terribly. And so his relationship with Palin, a paranoid narcissist, suffered. CBS's Scott Conroy and Shushannah Walshe are writing a book about Palin, and they are releasing some of its wonderful anecdotes to us, the public, in advance. So. Remember when it was revealed that Todd Palin was a member of the secessionist Alaska Independence Party? The publication of that actual fact annoyed Sarah Palin greatly! Palin blasted out an e-mail with the subject line "Todd" to Schmidt, campaign manager Rick Davis and senior advisor Nicolle Wallace, copying her husband on the message (all of the e-mails are reprinted below as written). "Pls get in front of that ridiculous issue that's cropped up all day today - two reporters, a protestor's sign, and many shout-outs all claiming Todd's involvement in an anti-American political party," Palin wrote. "It's bull, and I don't want to have to keep reacting to it ... Pls have statement given on this so it's put to bed." Her reference to a single protestor's sign and "many shout-outs" was indicative of Palin's occasional tendency to take anecdotal evidence of a minor problem and extrapolate it into something far more menacing. [...] Schmidt hit "reply to all" less than five minutes after Palin's e-mail was sent. "Ignore it," he wrote. "He was a member of the aip? My understanding is yes. That is part of their platform. Do not engage the protestors. If a reporter asks say it is ridiculous. Todd loves america." That simple and smart response did not work for Sarah, who responded by "adding five more names to the 'cc' box, all of whom traveled on her campaign plane." "That's not part of their platform and he was only a 'member' bc independent alaskans too often check that 'Alaska Independent' box on voter registrations thinking it just means non partisan," Palin wrote. "He caught his error when changing our address and checked the right box. I still want it fixed." Haha that is just a straight-up complete fucking lie. This woman! She is pathological! She is not even responding to a question from a reporter, she is straight-up lying to her own campaign strategist, in a really obvious and stupid way. This is not the way normal people behave. This is the way bad children behave when they are caught being bad. So Schmidt replied-all, again: "Secession," he wrote. "It is their entire reason for existence. A cursory examination of the website shows that the party exists for the purpose of seceding from the union. That is the stated goal on the front page of the web site. Our records indicate that todd was a member for seven years. If this is incorrect... MORE >>
Sarah Jessica and Matthew Fleeing to Brooklyn?
We knew there was a reason we're leaving the neighborhood. Sarah Jessica Parker and her mighty steed Matthew Broderick might be movin' on over to Park Slope. The New York Post thinks they've found the family's apartment. Now that they're the proud parents of three chillens, it might be time for the actor couple to bust out of their simply tiny West Village townhouse and into more respectable mansiony digs. Perfect then that artsy power couple Jennifer Connelly and Paul Bettany sold their Prospect Park West manse last year. A company called Harken Pretty purchased the home for $8.45 million last December, and the Post thinks that simply must have something to do with SJP's production company Pretty Matches. It just must! Whoever bought the palace is gutting it completely. After all the work you put into, Jennifer... Parker has shown an interest in Park Slope creatively recently, snapping up the rights to Amy Sohn's decadent take on the Park Slope mommy-cult Prospect Park West. It could become a TV series! Because everyone loved Lipstick Jungle so much they'll like it even better when it's about moms! In Brooklyn! Oh man, get us outta here. Pic via Curbed MORE >>
Puking Pug Police Coverup Goes All the Way to the Top
Was puking pug dog owner Chrissie Brodigan roughed up by the NYPD simply for tending to her dog, and its throwup? The most powerful cop in New York is now involved in the case. Read between the lines, people. "[There is] no indication that she was [manhandled]," [New York Police Commissioner Ray Kelly!!] said of Brooklyn blogger Chrissie Brodigan. So now The Fuzz thinks they can intimidate citizens, pug dog owners, pukers, and bloggers alike by trotting out the "big guns" to try to shut down our protests? So Ray Kelly thinks this is "an appropriate issue for the Civilian Complaint Review Board to handle," eh? Well that's actually pretty reasonable. But dog-in-a-bag L train riders and their supporters will not be muzzled! Ray Kelly, we demand that you—and, hell, Mayor Bloomberg too, at this point—clear your schedules immediately to answer the following interrogatories: FIRST: Why would you want anything bad to happen to a poor sick pug dog? SECOND: Do you think pug dogs are cute, or just weird looking? AND FINALLY: Have you ever gotten sick on a train? If so, explain in humorous detail. Justice for L train dog puke victims—now and forever! [NYP] MORE >>
Sony Knew What Soderbergh Was Up to on Moneyball Script
Yesterday we posted Sony's take on why Moneyball, the Soderbergh/Pitt film based on Michael Lewis' book, died five days before shooting was to start. Now someone close to the project has provided us with a different version of events. First, let's briefly recap what we and others have reported so far: The film was set to begin shooting last week. Five days before the start of shooting, director Steven Soderbergh turned in a rewrite of the original script, which was written by Steven Zaillian, that Sony executives, led by co-Chairman Amy Pascal, did not like. The studio felt that Soderbergh, who was insistent that every event in the film had to have taken place in real life, was taking the film in an "artsy" direction that they weren't willing to gamble $58-million dollars on, so they killed it. That's the short version of events according to Amy Pascal anyway. Since then a few more details about the project emerged. Movieline and Deadspin provided some new information in reports of their own, and today the New York Times has an article that sheds some light on Soderbergh's zeal for authenticity. One reason was to win the approval of Major League Baseball, which was not happy with some factual liberties in Mr. Zaillian's version. Such approval is crucial in a baseball film that intends to use protected trademarks. "Typically, on a film like this, we look at it for historical accuracy," said Matthew Bourne, a vice president of Major League Baseball for public relations. "We've been in touch with Soderbergh and Sony, and they've been receptive to our requests." What baseball saw as accurate, Sony executives saw as being too much a documentary. All of this brings us to the information provided to us by a tipster who'd been working on the project and has a decidedly different point of view than that of Amy Pascal and Sony. First and foremost, Soderbergh had been upfront with the direction in which he intended to take the film from the very beginning of his employment. In fact, it was clear to all of us - whether in the Art Department or the Costumes Department, etc. – that Soderbergh intended to use real people to play themselves in the creation of the true story of Moneyball. Additionally, for months Soderbergh had been shooting interviews with real ball players and people from Billy Beane's past, and the studio approved these shoots. How could the studio then at the eleventh hour claim that his approach was a surprise to them? He intended to tell the true story rather than a fictitious version of the story. How innovative. What exactly is wrong with making a movie accurate? And since when does an authentic film translate as an "art" film? I know numerous people that thought that Soderbergh's approach sounded insightful and interesting and true to the game and what really happened. If baseball lovers and non-baseball lovers alike in my large social network felt this way (not to mention the hundreds of bloggers that were fans of the concept), why... MORE >>
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