Gossip Girl Mania Arrives at Our Front Door
OMG, Gossip Girl was filming right outside our offices today!! We sent intern geniuses Whitney Jefferson and Cassie Seale down to film the teen girl madness. Video whizkid Mike Byhoff edited it together. The girls... they've gone wild! And gossipy! MORE >>
Black Professor and White Lady Reenact Crash in Cambridge
Harvard's star African-American studies professor Henry Louis Gates got hauled to jail by the cops for breaking into his own house because the lock was broken. That's racist. So is the lady who called them, who also works for Harvard. The Boston Globe has the police report, and it reads like Crash. UPDATED BELOW: Also, Gates' attorney, Harvard professor Charles Ogletree, has released a statement, and it reads like The Age of Innocence. Gates came home in the afternoon with another black friend. The lock on his front door was jammed, and he had to throw his shoulder into the door to get it open. A white lady saw the two men and thought, "Oh, two black guys are breaking into the house," so she called the cops. By the time they showed up, Gates had successfully gotten into his own home and was doing whatever free God-loving Americans with the same rights as you and me do when they enter their homes: Gates didn't like the fact that the cops showed up to hassle him about having to break into his own house, which almost certainly would not have happened had he been white. He was not very friendly to the cop, calling him a racist, saying that he didn't know who he was messing with—he didn't!—and trying to get the Cambridge chief of police on the phone. Gates sounds like an ornery cuss, and the insult of having to explain himself to the police for having to enter his own home seems to have caused him to lose his temper. As Gates was yelling at him, the officer insisted on moving the conversation outside—allegedly because the "acoustics of the kitchen and the foyer" made it hard for the cop to use his radio. But low and behold, once they got outside, Gates' "tumultuous behavior...outside his residence" got very disorderly very fast. So Gates got popped for yelling at a cop. So in case you were wondering: No, not even the director of the W. E. B. Du Bois Institute for African and African American Research at Harvard University, in the sanctuary of his own home, which is itself practically in the middle of the most prestigious university in the world, which is Gates' employer and playground, is immune from getting hassled because he is black. Oh, and the white lady who called the cops on him, Lucia Whalen? She's a fundraiser for Harvard Magazine. Like we said, Crash. And why was the lock broken? Because someone had tried to break in. We think it was that Iranian kid. Update: Charles Ogletree, Gates' friend and attorney, released an oddly understated recounting of the above without any of the yelling, and without any mention of racism. In Ogletree's account, Gates was returning from a trip to China, had trouble getting in, and with the help of his driver managed to get the door open. The next thing he knew, there was a cop at his door. Gates gave the officer his ID and asked him for his name and badge number. According to Ogletree, the officer never responded, put Gates under arrest, and jailed him for four hours. Here's the statement;... MORE >>
The Management Consultants Who Will End Condé Nast As We Know It
That was quick. Here is the grim memo that Condé Nast CEO Chuck Townsend just sent out announcing that it is bringing in McKinsey & Company to "develop new perspectives on optimizing our approach to business." This will be brutal. The US economy has contracted at a rate not seen in 80 years, forcing companies across America to adjust to the reality of this major economic setback. Our company and our brands have weathered this storm. However, we are not immune to the effects of the substantial revenue losses resulting from the deep and prolonged recession. Consequently, we must realign Condé Nast to be a successful business in an emerging economy that is now predicted to be painfully slow in recovering. This is a considerable and complicated task, forcing us to rethink the way we do business in many instances and incorporate efficiencies in every step of our process. Beginning this week, I am dedicating myself and a team of my colleagues to this project. We will work with consultants, including McKinsey & Company, to develop new perspectives on optimizing our approach to business, growing revenues, and enhancing our brand assets. All areas of Condé Nast will be included in the study. There is no doubt in my mind that the strength of our brands and people will provide us with the opportunity to participate in America's economic recovery. Ensuring our financial health is paramount to our ability to be part of that process. MORE >>
Was Blogging Just a Fad?
This is the first meeting of the new Gawker Book Club. The author will be popping into the comments to answer questions. Up first: Say Everything by Scott Rosenberg. Could the whole decade-long explosion of blogging have been a mere fad — the transitory adolescence of a Web destined to grow up? Rebecca Mead's 2000 New Yorker piece about Blogger and Meg Hourihan and Kottke had referred to blogging as "the CB radio of the Dave Eggers generation." Nicholas Carr, meanwhile, compared the blogosphere to the flourishing of ham radio in the early days of broadcasting. It had taken roughly two decades for "social production" of radio to be absorbed into "corporate production," Carr observed. Now, he maintained, with only the slightest hint of regret, the same thing was happening somewhat more quickly to bloggers, as the amateurs got pushed to the periphery by the pros. Historically, the succession of media forms and technologies follows a predictable pattern: every innovation arrives with a fanfare announcing that it will replace its predecessor. But when the dust settles, the newcomer almost always winds up having redefined that predecessor rather than eliminated it. Radio did not kill off the telegraph. (Although it is now, finally, dead — Western Union shut down telegram service in 2006 — it was the Internet that delivered the final blow.) Television killed off neither radio nor the newspaper. The cinema failed to kill live theater. Home video did not shutter the movie theaters. The Web may be wreaking havoc on the newspaper industry, but it is unlikely to wipe out all publishing on paper in the near future. Similarly, as people have flocked to Facebook and MySpace and Twitter, they will not stop posting to or reading blogs — but their patterns of blogging will change. The social networks turn out to be an easier and more efficient channel for casual messages intended for a handful of friends. If what you want to tell the world requires only 140 characters, you may well choose to say it on Twitter instead of in a blog post. As a result, some unquantifiable portion of the world's blogging has already started to change, to become a little more deliberate, a little less telephonic in nature. But there is scant sign of mass abandonment of the form. There's likely to be a long future in which a great number of people who wish to communicate online find the unique characteristics of a blog irresistible. Next to the traditions and constraints of older media on paper or the airwaves, blogging tends to look anarchic and ephemeral and superficial. But next to the crowd-driven networking on Facebook or the stream of Twitter snippets, blogs appear far more substantial and free-standing and powerful. A blog lets you define yourself, whereas on a social network you are more likely to be defined by others. Sure, blog readers can write comments — but the blogger can delete the comments, or disemvowel them, or turn them off entirely.... MORE >>
Sex Ads Are Spec Ads, Okay?
Look, it is a scandalously explicit blowjob-oriented advertisement for the Sprite beverage! But wait, Twitterererers: this is a spec ad. What's a spec ad? A sexy one. A spec ad—at least the ones you hear about—is basically an unofficial ad that will never get officially sanctioned by the brand represented. Often because of too much sexiness! For example, that JC Penney pro-teen sex ad that caused such a ruckus last year, on the blogs, turned out to be a spec ad. Ad people make spec ads for many reasons: to audition their work in hopes of winning an account, for ad competitions, or just because they are bored and horny. So next time you see an supersexy ad featuring ill-concealed blowjob jokes or overt appeals to teen sexuality, don't just run out and declare that Brand X has gone crazy; ask yourself first, "Is this a spec ad? And if so, why are they all ill-concealed blowjob jokes or overt appeals to teen sexuality?" It'll save everyone a lot of gasping. Of course, PETA produce sex spots and Burger King blowjob ads are real. Update: Here's the statement that the corporate PR department at Coca-Cola is putting out about the ad: "This video was NOT produced by or for The Coca-Cola Company or any of its brands. The use of our Sprite brand in this video is completely unauthorized. We are doing everything we can to determine the source of the video and will take appropriate legal action." MORE >>
Let's Not Bother With Space
On this, the 40th Anniversary of the day Mankind conquered the moon, it is time to issue another clarion call for this generation: fuck Mars, let's focus our attention here, for now. What the hell do we have to show for manned space exploration besides neat pictures and a brief feeling of patriotic goodwill in the middle of Vietnam? Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong are demanding that Obama send men to Mars, ASAP, because... why? Because they had a blast on the moon and wouldn't want future generations to miss out on space-golf? Because George W. Bush got a little overexcited one day, NASA is currently planning to build a colony, on Mars. They are building new Space Shuttles, as the old ones are rickety death traps. These new shuttles, and the plan to take them back to the moon by 2020, will cost $100 billion. After spending that $100 billion we will, as mentioned, just be going back to the damn moon, where we have been. By 2025 there might be a moon base! The bit where we go to Mars doesn't happen until some time after 2025—which, coincidentally, is also when there won't be racism anymore, according to Sandra Day O'Connor. The roaring 2020s will kick ass! Mars, and the moon, are not actually going anywhere any time soon. And it would maybe be nice to have an extra $100 billion lying around in the budget for the next ten years to throw at, who knows, insuring a couple million Americans, maybe? Or if we are determined to spend that $100 billion on getting Americans boldly from one place to another place, how about spending that $100 billion on high-speed trains and urban mass transit, to help us cut down on all that oil we burn, and maybe forestall the day when we destroy our atmosphere and actually do have to flee the planet in a hurry? It was pretty fucking awesome that we actually sent men to the moon, to walk around, collect rocks, and go back home, 40 years ago. But now would be a good time to dedicate ourselves to putting jobs of some kind back in Michigan. By the end of the decade, we will put affordable fresh produce in depressed black neighborhoods! So, President Obama, we call on you to ignore those brave space explorers of yesteryear! Demand NASA shift its priorities to developing useful science! We won the space race, and now look at us: we are broke and sick. Let us not worry about space until we've taken care of our shit back here, unless a meteor the size of Texas is bearing down on us. MORE >>
Beastie Boy Is Ill
The Beastie Boys' MCA, a.k.a. Adam Yauch, has cancer of the salivary gland. The group is canceling its upcoming tour and pushing back its album release date. Yauch, a Buddhist, turns 45 on August 5. Click to watch the announcement. MORE >>
Brian Kilmeade Sincerely Apologizes for Calling Human Mutts Impure
A couple weeks ago, Fox & Friends' disgruntled hedgehog Brian Kilmeade dumbly implied that inter-culture marriages aren't pure. And a lot of people got mad! So this morning, back from a relaxing vacay in Bermuda or something, he apologized. Of course the apology was vague and lazily set up, coming directly after some segment in which Steve, Brian, and Calamity Jane were discussing Bikinis. Bikinis: Do They Cross the Line? This is important. So following that bit, Kilmeade put his hands together in prayer and offered a sincere apology for suggesting that most of us are filthy mudbloods who are horrible and impure. We, for one, believe him. After all, he himself is the product of the coupling between a rutabaga and a weathered garden gnome. Or at least sometimes he talks like he is! Fox & Friends: Crossing the Line Always! MORE >>
Adrian Grenier: Working at a Brooklyn Supermarket
Preparing to leave Park Slope, my 'hood of two years, next week, I'm reminded this morning of how silly/wonderful a place it can be. Its members-only supermarket, the Park Slope Food Co-Op? Makes everyone work. Even celebrities, like Adrian Grenier! A Time writer—and fellow organic, local grocery lover—is working a shift with the Entourage star right now. He's breaking down boxes, like a good little supermarket socialist. I'll miss your silly ways, Park Slope! But not your F train! MORE >>
The Royal Family Suddenly Looking Very Palin-esque
Ha! A scandal involving the Royal Family. It's been too long since we've had one of those, no? Oh and this one is good. An undercover reporter for the trashy British tabloid News of the World went to Ibiza to visit with the uncle of Kate Middleton, Prince William's fiancee, Gary Goldsmith, who's apparently a huge cocaine dealer. Sweet! And the reporter got all sorts of juicy stuff, including a drug transaction, on tape. In the video Goldsmith brags about how his sister's daughter will be heir to the thrown and how he'll be named "Duke of Slough," among other things. Goldsmith was out to impress and eagerly played on his royal connections - detailing how Kate was his niece and bragging of a return trip by her and Prince William to his villa next month. Telling how the couple stayed with him in 2006 - a visit reported in the British press at the time - he described the prince as "lovely" before adding: "Yeah, so they all turn up with their M16 to guard them. "My first words to Prince William were, 'Oi, you f***er! Did you break my glass pyramids?' He and a pal had been throwing balls around and broke all these ornamenal pyramids I had - loads of them." "My friends were here teaching William how to mix (music on DJ decks). Yeah, it was brilliant. And they told him he needs a shout, 'The King's in da house!' He's a very friendly guy." Antonia claimed that she and Goldsmith were due to meet the couple for lunch this week in London. She mused: "Yeah. We're going . . . to see their little romance blossoming." Oops. Well, so much for all that. That bitchy Queen will probably force young Kate and her family to cut all ties with Goldsmith, lest they forbid Prince William from marrying a "common." Here's the video from News of the World: Long live the trashy British tabloids! Kate Middleton Uncle Drug and Vice Shock [News of the World] via Transracial MORE >>
Who Is America's Other Hooker-Nailing Governor?
Sunday's Daily News featured a gossip item in which a hooker who worked for the same escort agency frequented by Eliot Spitzer claims that she serviced another sitting American governor on three occasions. Who could it be? Let's speculate recklessly! Before we get into the reckless speculation, some background from the Rush and Malloy item detailing the tales of gubernatorial sex provided by a hooker named "Annie," who also serviced Eliot Spitzer back in the day. She says that the first time she met the mystery governor was on a date with a client named "Michael": "We went to a restaurant where the governor was dining at another table with two or three other men. Michael said the governor was a client of his. He introduced me to him. I thought it was odd that he'd introduce someone he'd hired, but the governor was very gracious. It was a brief meeting. Later, Michael and I went to an apartment our agency kept. We had sex. "A couple of days later, Michael booked another appointment. He was supposed to come to the same apartment. I buzzed him in. When I opened the door, it wasn't Michael. It was the governor. He was smiling. I knew what was happening. I was okay with it. "He was a very standard client. He didn't take the full hour. There was no exchange of money. Michael handled the payment. "I had two more dates with the governor. Never in public. Always for just an hour, around dinner time. He'd arrive at the apartment in a suit. I never had a problem with him, like I did with Spitzer. He was always nice. There wasn't a lot of conversation. It wasn't a girlfriend experience, but he was relaxed. He was very appreciative, like I was giving him a sort of affection he wasn't getting elsewhere. Later I found out he was married. His wife is quite prominent in her own right." So, if the story told by Annie is true, there's another hooker-nailing governor running around out there. Even worse, he may have accepted sex with a prostitute as a gift from a lobbyist. Now, taking into consideration what we've learned from "Annie," that the mystery governor is a man who is married to a "prominent" woman, let's take a few educated guesses as to who this may be and assign some Vegas-style odds as we go. Arnold Schwarzenegger (10-1) Knowing everything that we know, that Arnold's wife is indeed "prominent" and that he's a noted lover of ass, Arnold is an obvious front-runner in this contest. However, what he does have in potential hooker-nailing credentials he lacks in geographical proximity, otherwise he's probably be a 2-1 or 3-1 favorite, though Arnold has made trips to New York during his time as governor of California. Ed Rendell (15-1) The thought of Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell having sex is utterly horrifying, so he's one we'd rather not even think about. However, he's only a hour or so away from New York City by train and his wife, Marjorie Rendell, is a federal judge who sits on the Third Circuit Court of Appeals, so he sort of makes sense. ... MORE >>
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