Perez Hilton Would Rather Be a Racist Than Bad for the Gays
Perez Hilton called will.i.am a "faggot." Now, in an Advocate profile he desperately wants for you to know that he's not a gay hate-monger. He's just a racist. Some of his best friends are gay people. Best friends like... himself! Hilton, apparently not content to be the world's leading purveyor of dirty celebrity doodles, is quixotically positioning himself as some sort of gay rights leader. Though, he's going about it all the wrong ways. In the new profile by Boston-based gaypert Benoit Denizet-Lewis, the vicious and rotund self-ascribed Queen of All Media practically pleads with his interviewer to please accept him as a Righteous Gay. The Advocate story was written and filed before The Incident, but Denizet-Lewis has spoken to Hilton since and added his quotes to the online version of the article. Hilton, never the intellectual high jumper, buried himself even deeper: But Perez tells me that, in the heat of the moment that night, he almost chose to use a different word. "I thought about calling him the n word," he says over the phone a week after the incident, "but I thought the f word was even worse. I was so filled with hate at that moment because I was hated on so much, and I reacted in the worst way possible. Then I went on to make a bunch of other mistakes. I shouldn't have made the video. I shouldn't have released so many statements. But what's come out of all of this is that I've learned so much about myself, and I'm in a much better place. I'm actually thankful that it happened. As cheesy as it may sound, I had almost a spiritual moment when I just let all of the anger and worry go and am now filled with peace, happiness, and wisdom. Aw. Isn't that... vaguely horrifying. In seeking the forgiveness of the gay community (or not forgiveness, I don't think Hilton is concerned with forgiveness, but some weird meta thing somewhere between forgiveness and fear), Hilton decides to have us congratulate him for not saying the racist thing he was thinking. Terrific. The late edition aside, the Advocate article is a mildly interesting, if not deeply-probing, read. Mostly the bitchy/sad blogger comes across as lonely and pretending, scorned by his one-time media friends and coworkers (like Queerty's Japhy Grant and head Jezebel Anna Holmes), intimidated and childish when trying to meet men. Basically he's any young gay guy with identity problems, only he's crafted a big pink dreadnought of a platform to loudly air his insecurities. Thank God I don't have such a platform. Oh, wait. MORE >>
Republicans Have Had Enough Remembering of Michael Jackson, Thank You
Republicans are sick of Michael Jackson: it's a meme! We don't know why, but it is! Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty is sick of this nonstop coverage of the death of one of the world's most famous and bizarre people. Life, and the news, can't be all car chases, legislative gridlock, affairs by prominent Republicans, unrest overseas, war, and Sarah Palin. It seems eminently understandable that the circus surrounding the early death of a terribly famous man would continue to be considered newsworthy. But no! It is all the liberals' fault, or something. First, Albany Republicans refused the man his moment of silence last week. Then, New York congressman Pete King called him a pervert. Now, T-Paw, the outgoing Minnesota governor who figures a national career awaits him if he just hangs in there and doesn't attack Letterman or go to Argentina, weighs in: "[It's] time to move on." He opened his portion of the show talking, unprompted, about the Jackson coverage. "You can't get away from it. ... I've had enough of it. "It's time to pay our respects and move on." Are we alone in not being bothered, really at all, by the Jackson coverage, which has already tapered off, and which will be much more muted after the funeral, at least until the toxicology report comes back? We are liberal media elites, though, and so our sympathies, as always, lie with perverts. (This is not even counting the various hundreds of dumb conservative bloggers who took Jackson's death to be some sort of MSM/Obama plot against them, or something. And here we thought it helped Mark Sanford!) MORE >>
Whittling Down the Reasons Sarah Palin Quit Governing Alaska
It has been days since Empress Sarah Palin quit Alaska, forever. And no one yet knows why! Her "explanation" lacked, uh, actual coherent reasons. But there are theories. Mickey Kaus offered 14 theories for Palin's resignation, many of which are now kinda redundant and a bit stale. They can be whittled down to six. Crime! This is the "theory" that Sarah Palin will sue us for mentioning, so we'll just say that there is no evidence at all that she embezzled anything, from anyone. Or, at least, there is no evidence that she is under federal investigation for embezzlement. So maybe not this one! But... Some other terrible political thing Like maybe some new and more exciting ethics issue is coming down the pipeline? Maybe something is rotten with the Alaska state finances? But why would one more small-potatoes scandal end her heroic governing adventure? Sex! Maybe Todd let Greta Van Susteren "handle" him, at the WHCD? Maybe Bristol got knocked up by A-Rod? Maybe Sarah slept with Greta Van Susteren? There are, as far as we know, no new rumors along these lines. Just idle fantasies. Money Now we enter the realm of "likely but boring." Sarah Palin can make a lot more money writing books and giving speeches and maybe even hosting a TV show of some kind (can you imagine?) as a private citizen than she can as the Governor of Alaska. She did mention legal bills in her rambly speech, though the woman raises a million bucks from crazies every time she stutters, so how bad could things be? She Just Hates Governing Yeah, has she ever demonstrated any aptitude for the actual business of governing? We realize that's a lot to ask of any leading light of the Republican party these days, but still. Alaska's running out of money, the legislature hates her, and none of that shit is as much fun as appearing on TV to complain about how everyone on TV is unfair to you all the time. She Is Crazy Maybe the incoherent reasons she gave for quitting—to win the game, for the team—represent her actual thought process? Maybe she decided not to run for reelection, in order to position herself for 2012, and then she was like "you know what, if not running for reelection is how I get ready to be President, quitting altogether right now will have to make me even more ready." Special bonus non-reason: She Is Quitting Politics to Focus On Being a Private Citizen and Raising Her Children in Peace Yeah this one is the K-Lo fantasy, in which she's not a relentless ambitious career pol who uses her kids as props when that's convenient and decries their exploitation when anyone else mentions them. MORE >>
Young Republican Leader Finds Racism LOL-Worthy
First of all, why is a vice chairwoman of the Young Republicans 38 years old? And secondly, why is she "lol"-ing at racist Facebook comments? Oh, right, because she is a vice chairwoman of the Young Republicans. Frankly? It is a pretty non-shocking example of the GOP's ability to find humor in the craziest and most racist of places. But here is the magical tale of Audra Shay, Young Republican leader: Shay posted something dumb about health care, on her Facebook, and one of her friends responded, as anyone would, with an angry string of slurs. Two minutes later, Piker posted again saying "Obama Bin Lauden [sic] is the new terrorist… Muslim is on there side [sic]… need to take this country back from all of these mad coons… and illegals." Eight minutes after that, at 2:02, Shay weighed in on Piker's comments: "You tell em Eric! lol." Yes. You tell em, Eric! Tell em something insane! And, hah, it got better! Shay only de-friended the people who complained. Cassie Wallender, a national committeewoman from the Washington Young Republican Federation, then wrote: "Someone please help a naïve Seattle girl out, is Eric's comment a racist slur?" She answered her own question one minute later: "Okay, why is this okay? I just looked it up. 'It comes from a term baracoons (a cage) where they used to place Africans who were waiting to be sent to America to be slaves.' THIS IS NOT OKAY AND IT'S NOT FUNNY." This was followed soon after by the chairman of the D.C. Young Republicans, Sean L. Conner, who wrote "I'm really saddened that you would support this type of racial language. ..wow! Thanks Cassie for standing up…" Shay was silent on this exchange, but soon word started spreading throughout the Young Republican circuit, open to GOP members under 40. Significantly, Shay then "de-friended" Wallender and Conner-in the world of Facebook, that means cutting off relations-after calling her out, but kept Piker as a "friend" (subsequently, it appears their profiles are no longer linked). The election for chairman of the Young Republicans is next Saturday, guys. Let's see how many embarrassing and permanently archived examples of electronic racism the candidates can rack up in the coming days. MORE >>
Jennifer's Body: Another Diablo Cody Horror Movie
Oooh, look! It's Diablo Cody's follow-up to her Academy Award-winning (shoot me) Juno. The redband (NSFW?) trailer for Jennifer's Body, a snarky horror movie about Megan Fox being a righteous man-eating demon, has been released and we're... oddly intrigued. Because it looks like it could be funny? Look, we're not fans of Cody's snappy, reference-laden "writing" any more now than we were when Juno came out or United States of Tara (a show that got better only after Cody stopped writing episodes) debuted. But couldn't that jerky dialogue and look-Ma-no-hands kind of sardonic bravado acquit itself nicely in a silly/scary horror comedy? The Girl Gets Revenge trope worked fairly well in Teeth, and we all remember the nerdy Blockbuster clerk's wet dream that was Scream. Smoosh those two things together and you just might get Jennifer's Body. Something so head-poundingly annoying it's oddly entertaining. Y'know? [via ShockTilYouDrop] MORE >>
Who Has Sympathy for Ruth Madoff?
Ruth Madoff—loyal, pampered, tight-lipped wife of the single worst financial criminal in American history—seems to be unpopular. But why?? Is it feminist backlash? Anti-feminist backlash? Or, uh, something else? Poll and analysis below! New York Magazine explores this perplexing issue at length in a story this week. Theory #1: People hate her because she's a woman. Ruth's problem seems to be a particularly female one. "It's the gender politics of the culture," says Gloria Steinem. "It's easier to blame the person with less power." And, she adds, why aren't people blaming her sons? "They would be much more likely to be in cahoots, because they were in the same professional field. And the answer is, they're men, that's why." Theory #2: She's just a dumb lady. According to a friend from high school, it would not have been difficult to keep Ruth in the dark. "I don't know if you fully understand the difference between you and us," says the woman in her late sixties. "When we were young, and the man came home for dinner, he was the king of the house and we catered to him … We were the type of people who, if your husband came home and said, 'Sign this,' you wouldn't ask why. If he asked you to sign it, you would sign it." Theory #3: Oh maybe it's this . "He conferred with her on everything. The idea that she didn't know anything is laughable," says the longtime Madoff employee. Such a complicated issue, the whims of the public opinion! Really, where are these alleged people who have mixed feelings about, or even feel sympathy for, Ruth Madoff? We must smoke out this rare creature. With a poll. Vote below, and the truth will be revealed. [NYM. Pic: AP] Do You Have Any Sympathy for Ruth Madoff?(polling) MORE >>
Williamsburg Is Hardcore Again
The ill-concealed dream of every flyover state art school grad and casual hip hop fan to move to Brooklyn has finally come true: Williamsburg is officially the city's worst urban hell of rusting empty buildings. Just like a real ghetto! They were building new condos all over the 'Burg when the recession hit. Now construction has ground to a halt, as people slowly come to their senses, emerging from a boom-time daze and muttering to themselves, "Jesus, was I really about to pay $700K for a one bedroom condo one block from the BQE?" Boom, instant urban decay: Williamsburg is ground zero in the growing scourge of stalled construction that has left the neighborhood littered with 18 vacant lots and rusting steel building frames — more than in all of The Bronx More than in all of the Bronx. It doesn't get any more hood-like than that! This is a total free cool pass for every 21 year-old who moves to Williamsburg in the next year. "Dude," you'll tell jealous newbies as you sit in a gelato shop with them five years from now, "when I got here this place was a fucking hellhole." They'll think you mean 1992! This sort of street cred is a priceless gift. [NYP] MORE >>
The Tragic Love of Bobby and Jackie
The New York Post runs some tidbits today from the new book Bobby and Jackie: A Love Story, which purportedly reveals some steamy, sad secrets of a long-hidden affair between Jackie Kennedy and her brother-in-law, Robert Kennedy. The pair supposedly came together after JFK's assassination, first as a means to express their grief, then as a means to express their passion. Camelot insiders, including Bobby's wife Ethel, knew the affair was going on, but everyone knew that it would never go anywhere—because it was the 1960s, because they were Catholic and divorce was what it was, because Bobby couldn't risk a marital scandal if he hoped to take office someday. So the pair continued in secrecy until Bobby's assassination in 1968. Some factoids from the book, which includes witness accounts from Jack Newfield, Gore Vidal, and Truman Capote: Six months after JFK's death, during a May 1964 dinner cruise on the presidential yacht the USS Sequoia, Bobby and Jackie "exchanged poignant glances" before disappearing below deck, leaving Ethel upstairs. "When they returned, they looked as chummy and relaxed as a pair of Cheshire cats," At the Kennedys' Palm Beach estate during Christmas 1964, socialite Mary Harrington saw Jackie sunbathing topless, with Bobby kneeling at her side. "As they began to kiss, he placed one hand on her breast and the other inside of her bikini bottom," Harrington recalled. According to Gore Vidal, "The one person Jackie ever loved . . . was Robert Kennedy." Shipping tycoon Aristotle Onassis — RFK's rival for Jackie's attention — once threatened to "bring down" Bobby by going public with details of the affair. "I could bury that sucker," Onassis said, "although I'd lose Jackie in the process." On June 4, minutes after winning the California primary, Bobby was fatally shot by Sirhan Sirhan at the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles. Jackie flew to his bedside — and Ethel allowed her time alone with the dying RFK, according to the book. Bobby was brain-dead, but a distraught Ethel refused to pull the plug, and brother Ted Kennedy was in no shape to make the call, Heymann writes. At 1:20 a.m. June 6, 1968, Jackie Kennedy ordered the respirator shut down and signed the consent form, the book reveals. So, yeah, there you have it. The only sad, melancholy thing to ever happen to the moneyed, mossy Kennedy clan. Image via Getty MORE >>
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