A Frame-by-Frame Analysis of Obama's Alleged Ass-Peek
ABC News has come up with video purporting to prove that Barack Obama did not lasciviously check out a woman's ass in Rome yesterday. We undertook a Zapruder treatment and determined that he probably did, but had no choice. Last night, a photograph emerged showing what appeared to be our president ostentatiously enjoying the rump of a young "junior G8 delegate" during a public event in Rome. It naturally made waves on the Internet, starting with Matt Drudge, since it looked a lot like Obama was enjoying the view. But this morning, ABC News aired video of the same event that seemed to exonerate Obama. We concur, with reservations. Here's our analysis: The Set-Up Obama is standing next to a woman (Woman A) on a dais with oversized steps. Woman A is to his right. Over the next several seconds, the pair will execute the following maneuver: Obama will step down, right leg first, to the lower stair in front of him. He will then turn to his right, grasp Woman A's left hand in his right, and steady her as she steps down after him. The Interloper At 0.8 seconds into the maneuver (the timestamps here are from ABC News video that was played in slow-motion, and don't reflect that actual amount of time elapsed), a woman with an attreactive rear end (Woman B) begins to execute her own maneuver: She will step up to the level Obama and Woman A are stepping down from, in the process rotating her body in such a way that exposes her ass to Obama's field of vision. In this frame, Obama has completed his step down, but his back is to Woman A. So he begins the process of rotating his body toward her so as to offer her his hand. But—and this is crucial—he begins that rotation with his head. Here, he has begun swiveling it to the right. Also crucial: Woman B was not in Obama's field of vision prior to the initiation of his head-turn—in other words, he could not have begun turning his head to get a better look. The Turn At 1.3 seconds, Obama begins bringing his left shoulder around to follow the turn he initiated with his head. At this point Woman B's ass comes into his field of vision. But Obama's head is still in mid-turn—he's bringing it around to see Woman A, whom he intends to help down the stair. Woman A begins preparing for this by moving the item she'd been holding in her left hand—a credential? A program?—to her right hand, freeing up her left for Obama's. This indicates that some sort of communication or coordination, verbal or otherwise, had transpired between the two to indicate to Woman A that Obama intended to help her down the step. The Kill Shot This still, at 1.6 seconds, is from the precise moment that the photograph was taken. Obama is looking directly at Woman B's ass. But where else would he look? His head is still rotating, in a downward sweep, to his right. Down, and to the right. Down, and to the right. Woman A has initiated her step down. Obama is continuing his body-turn, led by his head, to line up with her... MORE >>
Sun Valley's Mogul Parade
Barry Diller is cornering guys in the bushes, Harvey Weinstein is "stress eating" and Tom Freston's wife is letting it all hang loose. Here's a gallery of the summer fun you're missing at Allen & Co.'s annual Sun Valley schmoozefest. Firefly honcho Tom Freston's yoga-loving wife Kathy seems to have forgotten to pack a bra. She seems over it; Tom doesn't. As AOL's Tim Armstrong learned, IAC chief Barry Diller is entirely comfortable meeting in the bushes. Rupert Murdoch, after being charmed by Haim Saban and News Corp. underling David DeVoe. Google CEO Eric Schmidt explains to Microsoft's Nathan Myhrvold and Bill Gates how his new Chrome OS will reduce Windows to a "poorly-debugged set of device drivers." Harvey Weinstein demands to speak with the insensitive hack who called him a "stress eater." Walking alone, Twitter's Evan Williams remains aloof. Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg listens as Microsoft's Myhrvold critiques his Bill Gates impression. Eric Schmidt explains how Larry Page conned him into launching another operating system. Former eBay honcho Meg Whitman brought her trophy husband, all the better to ask for gubernatorial campaign donations with. MORE >>
Hipster Grifter Catching Mad Charges, In Utah
Just when you were about to give up on life, there's a Hipster Grifter news update! Kari Ferrell had more charges filed against her out in Utah yesterday. Let's learn about them! Salt Lake County prosecutors filed charges late Thursday against Kari Michelle Ferrell, 22. She is now charged with one count of identity fraud and issuing a bad check, both third-degree felonies. She was also charged with two misdemeanor counts of issuing a bad check. That's in addition to the $60,000 she was already charged with stealing. The new charges are related to bad checks, and opening a cable account in someone else's name. And hey, you think our commenters are bad? Here's some of the hometown sentiment: [KSL.com, TribTowns.com] MORE >>
Young Republican Leader Audra Shay Is Crazy, Illiterate, Racist
The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.38-year-old Young Republican leader Audra Shay got in some trouble for lol-ing at racism. She is standing tough, though! So it is time to go back and find all the other crazy in her Facebook feed, for our own lulz. The story, as of Monday: a Facebook friend of Audra commented, "obama bin lauden is the new terrorist....muslim is on there side .....need to take this country back from all these mad coons.......and illegals." And Audra responded: "You tell em Eric! lol." Audra unfriended some people who complained about her reaction, but not racist Eric himself. And then the internet heard about it. But Audra is still running to be chairwoman of the Young Republicans. And John Avlon at The Daily Beast has tracked down all the other examples of Audra's Facebook nuttiness. The weird and sad thing is that everything she writes is utterly crazy and deranged, but it is so within the current bounds of acceptable political discourse that we are like "why is she worse than Jim DeMint, again?" But here you go, here is the crazy: In October 2008, in the wake of news that an effigy of Sarah Palin was being hung outside an affluent Hollywood home as an offensive Halloween decoration, Shay replied, returning to the "LOL" style that she employed after the "coons" comment: "What no 'Obama in a noose? Come on now, its just freedome (sic) of speech, no one in Atlanta would take that wrong! Lol." Posting and endorsing a conspiracy theory video that attempts to prove that Obama believes he can only "ensure his own salvation" and "fate" if he helps African-Americans above whites, complete with Barnum-esque captions ("LISTEN AS HE ATTACKS WHITE PEOPLE"). And so on! And she will still probably win her campaign for chairwoman of the Young Republicans. None of these crazy comments disqualifies her from leading them, because this is already what old Republicans say, openly, on TV and on the radio, all the time. So, good luck, Audra Shay. You certainly do represent the future of the Republican party! MORE >>
Click here to safely unsubscribe now from "Gawker: Top Stories" or change your subscription or subscribe
| Your requested content delivery powered by FeedBlitz, LLC, 9 Thoreau Way, Sudbury, MA 01776, USA. +1.978.776.9498 |
No comments:
Post a Comment